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Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that videos, films, and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that videos, films, and computers should be used instead. v. 1
There is a division is some certain quarters about the best educational tool for learners in school. While it is thought by some that the traditional books and textbooks should be phased-out, others think that more innovative approaches such as videos and computers should be adapted for use. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the usage of books should be ousted out for a number of reasons. To begin with, books are more cost-effective than computers. In other words, the amount of money that would be required to purchase books for students is cheaper compared to the use of these technical tools. In a situation where the folks of a child cannot afford these expensive gadgets, this leaves the child at a loss, especially after school hours when further training should be continued in their respective homes. For example, in Nigeria, children writing books in school costs around #10000 and a computer cost ten times more. This is way higher than most worker's wages in Nigeria and buttresses the fact that books are more affordable. Furthermore, books must remain because they are unaffected by the limitations of technology. One shortcoming of the use of technical tools includes problems like power outage and lack of internet access. This type of issues does not come up when books are used for training a child in school, therefore, this makes it highly necessary that they remain the primary means of teaching a learner in school. For example, in Nigeria, where power supply is erratic, the use of computers in training children is quite limiting. In conclusion, the use of books in the classroom cannot be stopped because they are cheap and not likely to be affected by technical failures. In my opinion, I believe that its continued use is, however, necessary in order to ensure optimum performance of school learners.
There is a division is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain quarters about the best educational tool for learners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and textbooks should
be phased
-out, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that more innovative approaches such as videos and computers should
be adapted
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In my opinion, I completely disagree that the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be ousted
out for a number of reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more cost-effective than computers.
In other words
, the amount of money that would
be required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for students is cheaper compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these technical tools. In a situation where the folks of a child cannot afford these expensive gadgets, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the child at a loss,
especially
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours when
further
training should
be continued
in their respective homes.
For example
, in Nigeria, children writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
costs around #10000 and a computer cost ten times more. This is way higher than
Use only "worker" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most worker
's wages in Nigeria and buttresses the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more affordable.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are unaffected
by the limitations of technology. One shortcoming of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technical tools includes problems like power outage and lack of internet access. This type of issues does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for training a child in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
therefore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
highly
necessary that they remain the primary means of teaching a learner in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, in Nigeria, where power supply is erratic, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in training children is quite limiting.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in the classroom cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and not likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by technical failures. In my opinion, I believe that its continued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is,
however
, necessary in order to ensure optimum performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
learners.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that videos, films, and computers should be used instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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