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Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree? v.5

Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 5
Education materials play an important role in the academic development of students. A number of people believe that visual materials such as films and videos, and computers should be replaced books. I partly agree with this idea and I believe that although visual tools are entirely important in schools, books are equally significant. On the one hand, visual materials have a positive impact on students, which have an educational value. Videos and films are greatly informative tools in certain classes such as biology, physics, history etc. For example, children can easily grasp certain topics if it is screened documentaries, which are informative, in the classrooms. When it comes to computers, children improve their computer skills, and enjoy using this common device. For example, many children are not bothered with boring topics such as maths and chemistry because there are a lot of educational software, which is specially designed for students, so that they can learn while having fun with computers. Therefore, using visual materials in education institutions would be beneficial for children. On the other hand, printed books are a fundamental instrument of academic education. Children can improve their literacy skills by reading books, which are used in the classes, and they, in turn, increase their academic scores in certain classes. To illustrate, a research revealed that students, who read books on a regular basis, performed higher than those who do not read regularly in the literature class. Furthermore, books develop children’s communication skills. For instance, children, who get reading habit, explain better themselves. Thus, books should not be removed from the schools. In conclusion, schools benefit from a variety of educational tools in order to teach certain subjects to students. I partially agree with the idea that printed books replaced by visual tools such as movies, videos and computers. In my opinion, both books and visual tools can mutually play a significant role.
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the academic development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
such as films and videos, and computers should
be replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I believe that although visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
are
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
equally
significant.

On the one hand, visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which have an educational value. Videos and films are
greatly
informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
such as biology, physics, history etc.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
easily
grasp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
topics if it
is screened
documentaries, which are informative, in the classrooms. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to computers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and enjoy using this common device.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not bothered with boring topics such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and chemistry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
educational software, which is
specially
designed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can learn while having fun with computers.
Therefore
, using visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
in education institutions would be beneficial for children.

On the other hand
, printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are a fundamental instrument of academic education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their literacy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, and they, in turn, increase their academic scores in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on a regular basis, performed higher than those who do not read
regularly
in the literature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reading habit,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
better themselves.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should not
be removed
from the schools.

In conclusion
, schools benefit from a variety of educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
in order to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
subjects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
replaced by visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
such as movies, videos and computers. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
can
mutually
play a significant role.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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