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Airlines are dropping their prices. Is it a positive or a negative development? Support your stand with examples. v.1

Airlines are dropping their prices. Is it a positive or a negative development? Support your stand with examples. v. 1
It is said that the air fares are falling. I believe this is a positive advance because it allows people to travel overseas for business or for leisure purposes and it is good for small economies. Firstly, low-cost air travels allows people to fly more often. For example, I visited my sister in Ireland 4 times in the past three years, which would be unthinkable in the past because the flight prices were high for my financial possibilities. With low air fares it would be easier for people to travel to exotic places abroad. For instance, people are travelling more often to places like Dubai or Bali. It also benefits business people or foreign who need to travel frequently. Secondly, it would help increase local economies. When we travel to some places, we purchase goods at the local shops which helps local businesses to grow, plus we need to pay for the hotel and with more tourism affluence there is a higher possibility of hotel taxes to drop. So, if the number of tourists increases, then the local stores benefits greatly. It also would decrease the cost of goods imported. For example, Indian products are much more expensive in Portugal than they are in India because the transportation cost is also added to the price. Therefore, with low cost air travelling the price of importation would drop, which would enable the product prices to fall. To conclude, low cost air travel helps increase local economies, it facilitates travel for business people, and it entices people to travel to paradise destinations. Thus, lower flying prices are without a doubt a positive development.
It
is said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
fares are falling. I believe this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
overseas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or for leisure purposes and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
economies.

Firstly
, low-cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
fly
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
For example
, I visited my sister in Ireland 4 times in the past three years, which would be unthinkable in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the flight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
were high for my financial possibilities. With low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
fares it would be easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to exotic places abroad.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are travelling more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to places like Dubai or Bali. It
also
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or foreign who need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
frequently
.

Secondly
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economies. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to grow, plus we need to pay for the hotel and with more tourism affluence there is a higher possibility of hotel taxes to drop.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if the number of tourists increases, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores benefits
greatly
. It
also
would decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
imported.
For example
, Indian products are much more expensive in Portugal than they are in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
.
Therefore
, with low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travelling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of importation would drop, which would enable the product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
to fall.

To conclude
, low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economies, it facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it entices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to paradise destinations.
Thus
, lower flying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are without a doubt a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Airlines are dropping their prices. Is it a positive or a negative development? Support your stand with examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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