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As part of a class assignment you have to write about the following topic. Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. v.1

As part of a class assignment you have to Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 1
It has been argued by many that it's the responsibility of a government to keep a close check on the population growth by defining the number of family members and imposing extra taxes on the violation of this rule. In my opinion, I agree with this as an enormous increase in the family size will have a burden on the economy of a country as well as create different issues like unemployment, poverty and food crises. On the one hand, expansion of inhabitants has a direct impact on the economic conditions. Firstly, as the amount of members increase, the earning ones will face more difficulties to earn the bread and butter. Secondly, this will be reflected in the overall economic condition of the state. Moreover, the per capita income of the nation will decrease resulting in an increased inflation rate. For instance, a recent report has revealed that the densely populated countries of the world have poor economic conditions. On the other hand, growth in the amount of citizens gives birth to many issues like lack of jobs and food. The increase has an impact on almost every sector of life. This will lead to early consumption of resources, which ultimately produce many crises like joblessness, shortage of edibles and problems of cleanliness. All this will lead to rise in poverty and the economy will collapse. For example, the Sudan, being the largest populated country, has the worst economic condition and the people are poor and under fed. To conclude, I think that there must be a constant monitoring by the rulers to keep the birth rate under control as it will lead towards the path of progress and prosperity.
It has
been argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that it's the responsibility of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the population growth by defining the number of family members and imposing extra taxes on the violation of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as an enormous increase in the family size will have a burden on the economy of a country
as well
as create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues like unemployment, poverty and food crises.

On the one hand, expansion of inhabitants has a direct impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions.
Firstly
, as the amount of members increase, the earning ones will face more difficulties to earn the bread and butter.
Secondly
, this will
be reflected
in the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
condition of the state.
Moreover
, the per capita income of the nation will decrease resulting in an increased inflation rate.
For instance
, a recent report has revealed that the
densely
populated countries of the world have poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
conditions.

On the other hand
, growth in the amount of citizens gives birth to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues like lack of jobs and food. The increase has an impact on almost every sector of life. This will lead to early consumption of resources, which
ultimately
produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crises like joblessness, shortage of edibles and problems of cleanliness. All this will lead to rise in poverty and the economy will collapse.
For example
, the Sudan, being the largest populated country, has the worst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
condition and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are poor and under fed.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a constant monitoring by the rulers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the birth rate under control as it will lead towards the path of progress and prosperity.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay As part of a class assignment you have to Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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