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Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occassions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occassions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 1
It is true that famous international sporting competitions like football World Cup are vital in easing the friction between countries, and it gives citizens an opportunity to safely express their emotions. I completely agree with this view because, these kinds of occasions helps to foster international relationships and gives people an opportunity to show how they feel. Sport Occassions at the international level can ease the tension between two countries by giving people the opportunity to learn their cultures and traditions. For example, during the Olympics, travelling fans have to briefly stay in hotels in the host country. They could at this time understand the way of life of the host country. Also, when events like the football World cup are organised, fans of the two football teams have an opportunity to interact with one another in the stadium. This helps to unite countries who had misunderstandings in the past. In addition, during an international sporting event, citizens can freely express their emotions. Usually, at the beginning of most sport events, the national anthem of the countries involved are sung. This is a way of citizen showing their sense of patriotism. Furthermore, during a football match, for example, when a team scores a goal, fans celebrate by screaming and hugging one another. At the same time after a loss, emotions of sadness are freely expressed in a safe way. This show of emotions might not be seen without these events. In conclusion, I believe that sporting occasions like world Football Cup helps not only to ease tensions amongst countries, but also to help citizens express themselves in a harmless way.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting competitions like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
World Cup are vital in easing the friction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
safely
express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, these kinds of occasions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
relationships and gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how they feel.

Sport
Possible spelling mistake found.
Occassions
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
level can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the tension between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to learn their cultures and traditions.
For example
, during the Olympics, travelling fans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
briefly
stay in hotels in the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They could at this time understand the way of life of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Also
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
World cup are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
, fans of the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
teams have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to interact with one another in the stadium. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who had misunderstandings in the past.

In addition
, during an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
can
freely
express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
.
Usually
, at the beginning of most sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, the national anthem of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved
are sung
. This is a way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
showing their sense of patriotism.
Furthermore
, during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
match,
for example
, when a team scores a goal, fans celebrate by screaming and hugging one another. At the same time after a loss,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
of sadness are
freely
expressed
Consider replacing "in a safe way" with the adverb for "safe"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a safe way
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emotions
might not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
without these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

In conclusion
, I believe that sporting occasions like world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Football
Cup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tensions amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
express themselves
Consider replacing "in a harmless way" with the adverb for "harmless"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a harmless way
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occassions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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