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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.8

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 8
Earth is a planet for all, but owing to human activities such as deforestation and animal poaching, wildlife is struggling to survive. It has driven away some species on the edge of extinction, while others are on the endangered list. This problem can be solved by making strict regulations by the government in order to protect the life of wild animals. The major reason for the endangering of wild animal’s life is the deforestation. The population of the countries is burgeoning at such a fast pace that more land is required for creating dwellings for them. It has lead to the clearance of the forest areas and the loss of habitat of the fauna. Deprived of their natural environment, animals move to nearby cities or villages where they are often killed by the locals out of fear. Moreover, excessive poaching has also elevated the extinction of wild species. For instance, skin, fur and tusks of certain animals are used for creating fashion accessories like coats and bags, and also for illegal trading. It has resulted in an increasing hunting of wild animals. The best way to solve the problem of disappearance of wildlife would be to enact stringent regulations regarding minimum forest area and hunting. The government should clearly define the boundaries where no human intervention be allowed and reserve a specified area for the habitat of near-to-extinction wild animals. There should be a complete ban on killing animals, by the hunters, for the sake of human desires. Moreover, it is high time to aware the public about the significance of the flora and fauna in our environment. Take, for example, a TV program that can motivate people to preserve wildlife and not to use products made up of them. Thus, disappearance of wild creatures can be controlled. In conclusion, the government should tackle the escalating problem of extinction and endangering of certain wild animals by forming strict rules and regulations about the wild habitat and excessive poaching. If these measures are followed, we can surely make an earth a beautiful planet where all species co-exist.
Earth is a planet for all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
owing to human activities such as deforestation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
poaching, wildlife is struggling to survive. It has driven away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species on the edge of extinction, while others are on the endangered list. This problem can
be solved
by making strict regulations by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in order to protect the life of wild animals.

The major reason for the endangering of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
life is the deforestation. The population of the countries is burgeoning at such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace that more land
is required
for creating dwellings for them. It has lead to the clearance of the forest areas and the loss of habitat of the fauna. Deprived of their natural environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to nearby cities or villages where they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
killed by the locals out of fear.
Moreover
, excessive poaching has
also
elevated the extinction of wild species.
For instance
, skin, fur and tusks of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for creating fashion accessories like coats and bags, and
also
for illegal trading. It has resulted in an increasing hunting of wild animals.

The best way to solve the problem of disappearance of wildlife would be to enact stringent regulations regarding minimum forest area and hunting. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
clearly
define the boundaries where no human intervention be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
and reserve a specified area for the habitat of near-to-extinction wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. There should be a complete ban on killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, by the hunters, for the sake of human desires.
Moreover
, it is high time to aware the public about the significance of the flora and fauna in our environment. Take,
for example
, a TV program that can motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to preserve wildlife and not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
products made up of them.
Thus
, disappearance of wild creatures can
be controlled
.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should tackle the escalating problem of extinction and endangering of certain wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by forming strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations about the wild habitat and excessive poaching. If these measures
are followed
, we can
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an earth a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
planet where all species co-exist.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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