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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.10

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 10
It is an inevitable and indisputable fact that famous people are treated unfairly by the media and in fact, there is no personal and private life for them as they are called public figures. They should be conscious every time when they come outside and of course, they are the best inspiration to simple living people. Firstly, there are many people consider their favourite celebrities as their gods. Whatever they do, it inspires them to do, eventually, the media focus more on what they are doing and everything related to the celebrities is a breaking news for them. Furthermore, media behave so unfairly about their private relationships and most of them all are just interpretations. There is a profound focus on eminent personalities so that it became paramount to the public. For example- Recently, there was a news that a famous film actress Nayanthara was roaming with her boyfriend and the boy face was blurred in television, although the media did not show the face, social people started to create photoshop and mimic stories about them. Later, we all let to know that he was her cousin. Like these there were many incidents happened and wrecked some of their lives. Secondly, famous people are always conscious about their dressing, makeup and their style as they are inspiring and motivating to normal people and also their lifestyle changes can lead them to fame and name. Although many people think famous people lead their life so happy, rich and convenient, in contrast, they can not go to crowded places as the media and individuals focus more on them. For instance- My state Chief Minister stopped by to take fruits in one of the grocery store, immediately people and media surrounded him and he felt so uncomfortable and left the store immediately. To conclude, I am strongly inclined to agree with the aforementioned statements that the fame of eminent celebrities invaded the media and public to be more concerned and focussed into their personal and private life. Besides, they are considered to be public figures and anything they do is now-a-days a big sensation to people.
It is an inevitable and indisputable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are treated
unfairly
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and in fact, there is no personal and private life for them as they
are called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures. They should be conscious every time when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
outside and
of course
, they are the best inspiration to simple living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrities as their gods. Whatever they do, it inspires them to do,
eventually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
focus more on what they are doing and everything related to the celebrities is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "breaking news".
a breaking news
for them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
behave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unfairly
about their private relationships and most of them all are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
interpretations. There is a profound focus on eminent personalities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it became paramount to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
For example
- Recently, there was
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "news".
a news
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
film actress
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nayanthara
was roaming with her boyfriend and the boy face
was blurred
in television, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the face, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to create photoshop and mimic stories about them. Later, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to know that he was her cousin. Like these there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
incidents happened and wrecked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always conscious about their dressing, makeup and their style as they are inspiring and motivating to normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
also
their lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can lead them to fame and name. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lead their life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy, rich and convenient,
in contrast
, they can not go to crowded places as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and individuals focus more on them.
For instance
- My state Chief Minister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by to take fruits in one of the grocery store, immediately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
surrounded
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
him and
he felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
uncomfortable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the store immediately.

To conclude
, I am
strongly
inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforementioned statements that the fame of eminent celebrities invaded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to be more concerned and focussed into their personal and private life.
Besides
, they
are considered
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures and anything they do is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sensation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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