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Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead To what extent do u agree. v.2

Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead v. 2
In this technological era, technology has penetrated every aspect of our lives, including the way we teach and learn. However, some people have gone further and think that books should be abandoned completely in the learning process and they should replace with computers and other media forms. Personally, I do not agree with this opinion as learning from books has countless advantages. To begin with, it is undeniable that the using of computers and other media forms in the classroom would enrich the teaching process and make it more interactive and fun. For example, computers can be used for writing assignments and other classroom activities which are interactive and easy to correct by teachers. In addition, computers provide a visual representation of information and make it easy for students to learn and remember it. Therefore, it is understandable why many people believe that books should be replaced with videos, films and computers. Nevertheless, computers should never replace books as it has been proven that they have several benefits. Firstly, learning from books improves cognitive abilities and develop the imagination rapidly, which is vital especially in early school years. Secondly, only by using books children can learn handwriting which is an essential part of learning and crucial for strengthening small hand muscles that are used in complicated and precise tasks later on in life. In conclusion, it is true that the usage of computers and other means of media is necessary in schools nowadays. However, the existence of books is also vital. Thus, it is hoped that schools around the world embrace the approach of using both of them in their classrooms.
In this technological era, technology has penetrated every aspect of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, including the way we teach and learn.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have gone
further
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be abandoned
completely in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
process and
they should replace with computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
media forms.
Personally
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has countless advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that the using of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
media forms in the classroom would enrich the teaching process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more interactive and fun.
For example
, computers can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for writing assignments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
classroom activities which are interactive and easy to correct by teachers.
In addition
, computers provide a visual representation of information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for students to learn and remember it.
Therefore
, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be replaced
with videos, films and computers.

Nevertheless
, computers should never replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as it has
been proven
that they have several benefits.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
cognitive abilities and develop the imagination
rapidly
, which is vital
especially
in early school years.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
children can learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to handwrite".
handwriting
which is an essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and crucial for strengthening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hand muscles that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in complicated and precise tasks later on in life.

In conclusion
, it is true that the usage of computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of media is necessary in schools nowadays.
However
, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is
also
vital.
Thus
, it
is hoped
that schools around the world embrace the approach of using both of them in their classrooms.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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