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The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree? v.4

The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 4
Humans are very prone to imitate others to show their status in the society and to look like a celebrity. In this show-off race, people spend money lavishly to buy trendy outfits as well as branded products. Hence, vendors of products, are forced to copy the design and the functionality of demanding products, to enhance their profitability. According to me, as, it is beneficial for both, buyers and sellers, I completely agree with this new culture. Firstly, if we talk about fashionable clothes, it is commonly seen that, how folks are influenced by celebrities. Even though, almost everyone likes to wear modern clothes, they cannot afford it as it demands a very high rate. But, copying from them to make the same piece of cloth, can make it much affordable by ordinary people. Thus, it makes both, clients and copier happy. For example, every bride has a dream to wear the branded Sabyasachi traditional wear, for her wedding, but it is far from being affordable for a middle class family. But, in the market, we can easily get the copy of that outfit, and even in the low rate. Secondly, as we all know, developed countries are very famous for the latest technology used in consumer products like electronic machines and gadgets. If people buy items from the host country, it affects the economy of the home country. However, making duplicate products and selling in the nation, eventually boosts the nation's economy, and it also increases the employment as it explores the new field, in making new items. For example, India's famous company, Kinderjoin, is imitating the most popular foreign chocolate brand, Deiry, to make duplicate chocolates and it is proved to be the highest contributor to India's economy. To conclude, it is nothing wrong to copy from others unless it is harmful to people. Accepting the new culture to fulfil the increasing needs of the population, is the need of the day.
Humans are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prone to imitate others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their status in the society and to look like a celebrity. In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
-off race,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend money
lavishly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
trendy outfits
as well
as branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Hence
, vendors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
are forced
to copy the design and the functionality of demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, to enhance their profitability.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, as, it is beneficial for both, buyers and sellers, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture.

Firstly
, if we talk about fashionable clothes, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, how folks
are influenced
by celebrities.
Even though
, almost everyone likes to wear modern clothes, they cannot afford it as it demands a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high rate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, copying from them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the same piece of cloth, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it much affordable by ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
both, clients and copier happy.
For example
, every bride has a dream to wear the branded
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sabyasachi
traditional wear, for her wedding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is far from being affordable for a middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the market, we can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the copy of that outfit, and even in the low rate.

Secondly
, as we all know,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for the latest technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like electronic machines and gadgets. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items from the host country, it affects the economy of the home country.
However
, making duplicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and selling in the nation,
eventually
boosts the nation's economy, and it
also
increases the employment as it explores the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
field, in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
items.
For example
, India's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kinderjoin
, is imitating the most popular foreign chocolate brand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deiry
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
duplicate chocolates and it
is proved
to be the highest contributor to India's economy.

To conclude
, it is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to copy from others unless it is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Accepting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture to fulfil the increasing needs of the population, is the need of the day.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The tendency of human beings to copy one other is shown in the popularity of some fashion clothes and consumer goods. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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