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Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. Do you agree or disagree v.5

Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 5
It is thought by some people that immense global competitions have contributed to the development of the host country and have advantageous impact, while others disagree. In this essay I will argue why the benefits outweigh its drawbacks. The majority of people know less about small countries and their culture. For countries that host huge sporting events get opportunities to introduce their country for people from other nations. People are more likely to get attracted by monuments and cultures of the hosting country. Furthermore, it will increase the number of tourists. In other words, tourism will become an income resource for the hosting country. For instance, Brazilia has confessed that hosting an Olympic game in their country had a huge influence on the tourism. Moreover, hosting countries prepare for the big incoming event beforehand. They intensively improve their disadvantages, make sure the city is clean and everything is in order. Thus, it makes citizens lives more standardized. Due to the improvement of cleanliness and clarity, less mental and physical illnesses will be there. For example, in 2017 Mongolia hosted international conference ASEM. Because it was a huge and international event, governments made more people get involved in preparing. So in a little time we arranged to improve the clarity and cleanliness. Additionally, I believe cleanliness is a core to healthy citizens. So at least for a short period of time people can be prevented from some diseases. In conclusion, I restate my position that I fully agree with the statement of hosting countries benefit from big events. It is a great opportunity for the hosting countries to illustrate cultures and advertise their country to other delegates.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that immense global competitions have contributed to the development of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and have advantageous impact, while others disagree. In this essay I will argue why the benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know less about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and their culture. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that host huge sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted by monuments and cultures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
, it will increase the number of tourists. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, tourism will become an income resource for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brazilia
has confessed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
an Olympic game in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
had a huge influence on the tourism.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
prepare for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
incoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
beforehand. They
intensively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their disadvantages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the city is clean and everything is in order.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more standardized. Due to the improvement of cleanliness and clarity, less mental and physical illnesses will be there.
For example
, in 2017 Mongolia hosted international conference ASEM.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it was a huge and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
made more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in preparing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time we arranged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the clarity and cleanliness.
Additionally
, I believe cleanliness is a core to healthy citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
at least for a short period of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.

In conclusion
, I restate my position that I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
benefit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. It is a great opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to illustrate cultures and advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
delegates.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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