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Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. v. 3
Relating to the matter of living in an urban area, there are two striking contrast views that whether it is going to be tougher or whether it will get better eventually. (2) While I understand why that some people believe the former is true, however, the latter seem to be more reasonable to me. On the one hand, as a person who has spent whole life in the largest and most prominent metropolis in Vietnam, I deeply feel some empathy for people who have a negative vision of living in both central or suburban areas in many years to come. From their perspective, due to drastically increase of urbanisation, the place they are residing is not only densely populated, but also rife with slums and informal settlements, which still annually receives a large number of migrants from countrysides moving to the city in order to find a job. As a consequence, the inexorable rise of population leads to the lack of sufficient housing and open spaces for the dwellers, which in turn makes many people homeless and no access to basic services, such as hospital, school, etc. Furthermore, people in a destitute situation may resort to crime as a livelihood, which soars the already high crime rates and then causes social instability. Another point needs to be considered is that the rising cost of living forces everyone to work harder and be more economical just to make ends meet. This phenomenon, if not being intervened timely, may result in various mental diseases for the workers, for instance, stress, depression, anxiety, etc. On the other hand, I still side with those who believe in a growth of living standard in where they settle in the future. This is due to the fact many countries around the world have already decided to expand the metropolises to the adjacent areas while an enormous amount of money is being invested in building a handful of satellite town around the larger one. Thanks to expansion of living space, which grants more choices for people to choose a place to settle down, this will properly tackle the problems of overpopulation. Another reason to be given is that numerous technological breakthroughs have been applied to substantially address many issues of the city's infrastructure and facilities which will improve the quality of dwellers's life in some aspects. For example, with the advent of online marketplaces, people, without setting foot outside the home, can freely pick any product they want which will be delivered to the designated place over a course of two or three days. In conclusion, despite acknowledging why people think gruelling life in a city is imminent, I still firmly hold the belief that thanks to the enlargement of urban border and the implication of technologies, life in this largest type of human settlement is going to be pleasant.
Relating to the matter of
living
in an urban area, there are two striking contrast views that whether it is going to be tougher or whether it will
get
better
eventually
. (2) While I understand why that
some
people
believe the former is true,
however
, the latter seem to be more reasonable to me.

On the one hand, as a person who has spent whole
life
in the largest and most prominent metropolis in Vietnam, I
deeply
feel
some
empathy for
people
who have a
negative
vision of
living
in both central or suburban areas in
many
years to
come
. From their perspective, due to
drastically
increase of
urbanisation
, the place they are residing is not
only
densely
populated,
but
also
rife with slums and informal settlements, which
still
annually
receives
a large number of
migrants from countrysides moving to the city in order to find a job. As a consequence, the inexorable rise of population leads to the lack of sufficient housing and open spaces for the dwellers, which in turn
makes
many
people
homeless and no access to basic services, such as hospital, school, etc.
Furthermore
,
people
in a destitute situation may resort to crime as a livelihood, which soars the already high crime rates and then causes social instability. Another point needs to
be considered
is that the rising cost of
living
forces everyone to work harder and be more economical
just
to
make
ends
meet
. This phenomenon, if not
being intervened
timely, may result in various mental diseases for the workers,
for instance
,
stress
, depression, anxiety, etc.

On the other hand
, I
still
side with those who believe in a growth of
living
standard in where they settle in the future. This is due to the fact
many
countries around the world have already decided to expand the metropolises to the adjacent areas while an enormous amount of money is
being invested
in building a handful of satellite town around the larger one. Thanks to expansion of
living
space, which grants more choices for
people
to choose a place to settle down, this will
properly
tackle the problems of overpopulation. Another reason to be
given
is that numerous technological breakthroughs have
been applied
to
substantially
address
many
issues of the city's infrastructure and facilities which will
improve
the quality of
dwellers's
life
in
some
aspects.
For example
, with the advent of online marketplaces,
people
, without setting foot outside the home, can
freely
pick any product they want which will
be delivered
to the designated place over a course of two or three days.

In conclusion
, despite acknowledging why
people
think
gruelling
life
in a city is imminent, I
still
firmly
hold the belief that thanks to the enlargement of urban border and the implication of technologies,
life
in this largest type of human settlement is going to be pleasant.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe city life is getting more difficult whereas others think it’s becoming easier. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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