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Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 1
The argument, over whether sports competitions at global-level are beneficial or futile for the hosting states, has not been settled yet; however, I completely disagree with the statement because international tournaments are a great source of revenue for the organizing country and it also opens employment opportunities for its citizens. To embark with, the countries, where international events are organized, earn a lot of money. Firstly, it comes from several sources such as advertisement agencies who pay a hefty amount to sponsor these events, and in return get publicity and product recognition all over the world. Secondly, the audience who come to watch live matches spend handsome amount to purchase tickets, and also the cost of air travel, visa fee, and accommodation cost, provide benefit to host countries in the form of tax. For example, the Daily Times in the United Kingdom published a report that the government’s monetary status was boosted to fifty billion pounds in the Cricket world cup 2019. What is more, jobs are created in the respective country due to the requirement of the huge labor force for the smooth running of the event. This workforce comprises of white-collar jobs such as engineers, doctors, security staff and, managers; whereas, blue-collar include cleaner, waiters, and helpers. For instance, Brazil has invited two thousand nationals to apply for full-time and part-time employment for the upcoming Olympics on an attractive remuneration. Therefore, more employed nationals work for the prosperity of the country and also improve its economy. To conclude, I disagree with the notion that big competitions are fruitless because it would lower the unemployment rate of the country, and it also helps in growth of the economy.
The argument, over whether sports competitions at global-level are beneficial or futile for the hosting states, has not
been settled
yet
;
however
, I completely disagree with the statement
because
international tournaments are a great source of revenue for the organizing
country
and it
also
opens employment opportunities for its citizens.

To embark with, the
countries
, where international
events
are organized
, earn
a lot of
money.
Firstly
, it
comes
from several sources such as advertisement agencies who pay a hefty amount to sponsor these
events
, and in return
get
publicity and product recognition all over the world.
Secondly
, the audience who
come
to
watch
live
matches spend handsome amount to
purchase
tickets, and
also
the cost of air travel, visa fee, and accommodation cost, provide benefit to host
countries
in the form of tax.
For example
, the Daily Times in the United Kingdom published a report that the
government
’s monetary status
was boosted
to fifty billion pounds in the Cricket world cup 2019.

What is more
, jobs
are created
in the respective
country
due to the requirement of the huge labor force for the smooth running of the
event
. This workforce
comprises of
white-collar jobs such as engineers, doctors, security staff and, managers; whereas, blue-collar include cleaner, waiters, and helpers.
For instance
, Brazil has invited two thousand nationals to apply for full-time and part-time employment for the upcoming Olympics on an attractive remuneration.
Therefore
, more employed nationals work for the prosperity of the
country
and
also
improve
its economy.

To conclude
, I disagree with the notion that
big
competitions are fruitless
because
it would lower the unemployment rate of the
country
, and it
also
helps
in growth of the economy.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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