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some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 3
Now a day, Some masses ponder that the presenter nations are not getting any reward from the huge level global sporting events. I totally agreed with the former statement. I will elaborate my point with valid arguments and examples in the successive paragraphs. To begin with, The enormous amount of money is required to organise any sport event. There is no way of recovering the amount. Within a number of days, when event is finished, a giant cash is wasted. This is not possible for the poor countries. Moreover, Others factors like spacious space, facilities, transportations et cetera, are also required to accomplish the need of sightseers, game players and folks which will completely on the hosting country. So, These nations are not taking any benefits from these games. Further move, The movement of the people are elevated during large level gaming programs. Tourists may damage the property or dirty the places which ultimately influence the kingdom. Furthermore, it will also enhance the crime rate because the large number of folks are collected there. It may originate the mis happening or illegal activity. As a result, there is no profit to the territory. In a nutshell, The entertainer realm are not taking profit from the international sporting events. But, It is pivotal to arrange the global sporting functions. Because, It enhances the craziness of the sports among the worldwide and give the unique position to the province.
Now
a day,
Some
masses ponder that the presenter nations are not getting any reward from the huge level global sporting
events
. I
totally
agreed
with the former statement. I will elaborate my point with valid arguments and examples in the successive paragraphs.

To
begin
with, The enormous amount of money
is required
to
organise
any sport
event
. There is no way of recovering the amount. Within a number of days, when
event
is finished
, a giant cash
is wasted
. This is not possible for the poor countries.
Moreover
, Others factors like spacious space, facilities,
transportations et
cetera, are
also
required to accomplish the need of sightseers, game players and folks which will completely on the hosting country.
So
, These nations are not taking any benefits from these games.

Further
move
, The movement of the
people
are elevated
during large level gaming programs. Tourists may damage the property or dirty the places which
ultimately
influence the kingdom.
Furthermore
, it will
also
enhance the crime rate
because
the large number of folks
are collected
there. It may originate the
mis
happening or illegal activity.
As a result
, there is no profit to the territory.

In a nutshell, The entertainer realm are not taking profit from the international sporting
events
.
But
, It is pivotal to arrange the global sporting functions.
Because
, It enhances the craziness of the sports among the worldwide and give the unique position to the province.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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