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Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree? v.9

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. v. 9
Many children struggle learning mathematics and philosophy. While I am aware of the fact that making these non compulsory, I still insist that those kind of subjects should be forced. In this essay below, I will do my utmost to clarify my opinion. First of all, concentrating on teaching students on their biased subjects might bring positive effects. It is undoubtedly true that doing this can make pupils enjoy their lectures more, since they are their favours. Hence, not forcing them to learn courses which they have difficulty with will lessen the burden of the youth. For example, if a kid has a chance not to learn on those tough areas, he won’t have to try too hard to learn. On the other hand, it is essential for kids to have enough fundamental knowledge in different topics. For example, presenting a student who could accept a wide range of understanding in various fields, he definitely can comprehend much more complex topic such as economics. Moreover, those subjects like maths or philosophy play an important role in the intellectual development of children. For instance, it is common sense that solving a math problem has never been easy, to do this, we normally need to utilize our brain powers or sometimes even need help from the others. According to this, our cognitive thinking ability will develop along. In conclusion, I think instead of changing maths and philosophy into optional subjects, we can cut down on that information which is too difficult to take in.
Many
children struggle
learning
mathematics and philosophy. While I am aware of the fact that making these
non compulsory
, I
still
insist that
those kind
of
subjects
should
be forced
. In this essay below, I will do my utmost to clarify my opinion.

First of all
, concentrating on teaching students on their biased
subjects
might bring
positive
effects. It is
undoubtedly
true that doing this can
make
pupils enjoy their lectures more, since they are their
favours
.
Hence
, not forcing them to learn courses which they have difficulty with will lessen the burden of the youth.
For example
, if a kid has a chance not to learn on those tough areas, he won’t
have to
try too
hard
to learn.

On the other hand
, it is essential for kids to have
enough
fundamental knowledge in
different
topics.
For example
, presenting a student who could accept a wide range of understanding in various fields, he definitely can comprehend much more complex topic such as economics.
Moreover
, those
subjects
like
maths
or philosophy play an
important
role in the intellectual development of children.
For instance
, it is common sense that solving a math problem has never been easy, to do this, we
normally
need to utilize our brain powers or
sometimes
even need
help
from the others. According to this, our cognitive thinking ability will develop along.

In conclusion
, I
think
instead
of changing
maths
and philosophy into optional
subjects
, we can
cut
down on that information which is too difficult to take in.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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