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Nowadays more people have consumer goods like refrigerator and washing machines. Do you think this is a positive or negative development. v.1

Nowadays more people have consumer goods like refrigerator and washing machines. Do you think this is a positive or negative development. v. 1
These days, the majority of people are adopting new generation’s machines to reduce their workload and save energy. Whereas several people say it is a negative development, I firmly support it as a positive development. This essay will describe perspective reasons behind it. To begin with, the factors that confirm why it is a good sign to have retail goods in daily routines, such as a washing machine. Firstly, it decreases stress and increases productivity. In other words, the process of washing cloth is required long hours and massive energy because the process includes detergent, cleaning and drying. As the machine works on behalf of the human, people not only feel relaxed but also can spend their extra time on starting a new business from their home. Thus, consumer equipment is helpful in terms of low stress and extra money. Another crucial reason of why it is a beneficial idea for people to have retail goods is because it saves time, energy and money. To clarify this, the majority of working people tend to cook their all-day food in the morning and used to freeze them in the refrigerator. For example, in a survey of USA, it was confirmed that 70 percent of people used to cook their food in the morning and keeping it for later use in the fridge. In contrast, if the raw or cooked food did not keep in the cool place, then it will create bacteria and fungus in it and eventually it goes into the dustbin. Hence, retail goods is a necessity for a number of people to keep their meal safe for longer time. In conclusion, while several people feel that increase use of consumer goods is a negative development, I support it because it has different benefits such as time saving, energy saving, reducing stress and increasing the productivity. Therefore, it is clear that retail goods such as refrigerator and washing machine are good add-ons in anyone’s life.
These days, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are adopting new generation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their workload and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Whereas several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, I
firmly
support it as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
perspective reasons behind it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the factors that confirm why it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in daily routines, such as a washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
.
Firstly
, it decreases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and increases productivity.
In other words
, the process of washing cloth
is required
long hours and massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the process includes detergent, cleaning and drying. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
works on behalf of the human,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
feel relaxed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can spend their extra time on starting a new business from their home.
Thus
, consumer equipment is helpful in terms of low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and extra money.

Another crucial reason of why it is a beneficial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and money. To clarify this, the majority of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to cook their all-day food in the morning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to freeze them in the refrigerator.
For example
, in a survey
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, it
was confirmed
that 70 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cook their food in the morning and keeping it for later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the fridge.
In contrast
, if the raw or cooked food did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in the cool place, then it will create bacteria and fungus in it and
eventually
it goes into the dustbin.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is a necessity for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their meal safe for longer time.

In conclusion
, while several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development, I support it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits such as time saving,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
saving, reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and increasing the productivity.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
such as refrigerator and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
-ons in anyone’s life.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more people have consumer goods like refrigerator and washing machines. Do you think this is a positive or negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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