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Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. v. 1

Nowadays, In this modern society, children have lot of opportunity on education system and some school have more focused on individual children’s personality or what they have interested in. I definitely agree this statement, however there is a negative point that if the children could be choose optional instead of compulsory. First of all, it is not only the difficulty subject such as mathematic and philosophy, every child will have one or two weak subjects or they think too difficult some subjects for them. What is affect to them after they choose a subject? If every child can make it a choice and extend the children’s interests that will have an advantage in the future of the children. Because, the children are very honest, if they thought the subjects are not interested or too difficult, their brain would be shutdown. Furthermore, if they got the bad test score that will not make happy to them. Then, paphapps, they lose their confident or they would lose interested in study. On the other hand, I consider that the children needs learn every subjects in bases such as mathematical or science until the children are young children, it will be helpful for their life sometimes. Because it would be essential skills in our life and the children needs understand what make the world from. For example, when people go to a supermarket, we can check a food or things price which we should know what the number is. It is extremely important for a live the children learn every subjects of basic. To sum up, in my opinion, the children concentrated on specific subject which they are interested in, because it would grown up their brain rather than bord subjects. However, I believe that every subjects are important to the children are studying for their future.

IELTS essay Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Nowadays, In this modern society, children have
lot of
opportunity on education system and
some
school have more focused on individual children’s personality or what they have interested in. I definitely
agree
this statement,
however
there is a
negative
point that if the children could be
choose
optional
instead
of compulsory.
First of all
, it is not
only
the difficulty subject such as mathematic and philosophy, every child will have one or two weak
subjects or
they
think
too difficult
some
subjects for them. What is affect to them after they choose a subject? If every child can
make
it a choice and extend the children’s interests that will have an advantage in the future of the children.
Because
, the children are
very
honest, if they
thought
the subjects are not interested or too difficult, their brain would be shutdown.
Furthermore
, if they
got
the
bad
test
score that will not
make
happy to them. Then,
paphapps
, they lose their
confident or
they would lose interested in study.
On the other hand
, I consider that the children needs learn every subjects in bases such as mathematical or science until the children are young children, it will be helpful for their life
sometimes
.
Because
it would be essential
skills
in our life and the children needs understand what
make
the world from.
For example
, when
people
go to a supermarket, we can
check
a food or things price which we should know what the number is. It is
extremely
important
for a
live
the children learn every
subjects
of basic. To sum up, in my opinion, the children concentrated on specific subject which they
are interested
in,
because
it would
grown
up their brain
rather
than
bord
subjects.
However
, I believe that every
subjects
are
important
to the children are studying for their future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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