Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree? v.8

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. v. 8
Education has been evolving by leaps and bounds and providing children with new avenues while keeping students updated with the relevant skills and mindset. Therefore, a fair amount of people believe, challenging subjects such as mathematics and philosophy should be an optional choice in schools. I do not completely accord with it because these lessons have its values in shaping one future's skill and morals. To embark on, there are multiple reason why these subjects are taught to every child. First of all, mathematics trains students to think logically in solving problems and it is being used in many forms by other fields of studies. Namely, Phytagoras is used by the architects to calculate height of a building. Secondly, philosophy teaches students' core values such as ethics. An example for this, is during work life, where one is required to make business decisions where conscience is involved. However, undoubtedly, these subjects are difficult for some kids, as we know, not every kid are born with equal cognitive skills. Consequently. It may seem unfair to be evaluated equally with others. For example, kids, blessed with exceptional skills in arts, music and sports should not be compared to those join science Olympics. To conclude, mathematics and philosophy are challenging for some, however, in my opinion, enforcing all students to take these classes will teach at least a basic knowledge and to some, they will carry forward its values in their life. Given this situation, I think schools need to assess and observe every of its student and aware of what they need essentially.
Education has been evolving by leaps and bounds and providing children with new avenues while keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
updated with the relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and mindset.
Therefore
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe, challenging subjects such as mathematics and philosophy should be an optional choice in schools. I do not completely accord with it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these lessons have its values in shaping one future's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and morals.

To embark on, there are multiple reason why these subjects
are taught
to every child.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, mathematics trains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
logically
in solving problems and it is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms by other fields of studies.
Namely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phytagoras
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the architects to calculate height of a building.
Secondly
, philosophy teaches students' core values such as ethics. An example for this, is during work life, where one
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
business decisions where conscience
is involved
.

However
,
undoubtedly
, these subjects are difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids, as we know, not every kid
are born
with equal cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Consequently
. It may seem unfair to
be evaluated
equally
with others.
For example
, kids, blessed with exceptional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in arts, music and sports should not
be compared
to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
science Olympics.

To conclude
, mathematics and philosophy are challenging for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
however
, in my opinion, enforcing all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take these classes will teach at least a basic knowledge and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, they will carry forward its values in their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
schools need to assess and observe every of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and aware of what they need
essentially
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts