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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children while others think that is is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children while others think that is is a waste of time. 1
Although some individuals believe that art is a vital part of children's school curriculum, others consider it as a time waster. In my opinion, I think art is an important aspect of people's lives and should be tautht as a key subject for children in schools. On the one hand, certain individuals feel that its necessary for to children should study art in schools for some reasons. Firstly, they consider it as a good tool for self expression in children. Studies have shown that because young children are exposed to graphic images frequently such as cartoons, they express themselves better when they draw as this activity is fun and pleasurable and a good means of communicating their intents with their peers. Secondly, keeping art as an important subject for children is believed by some to be an effective method of developing talents early in life. This is particularly evident as some children are art prodigies and this skill is discovered during school lessons in majority of cases. For example, W. A. Mozart a music prodigy attested to the fact that his teacher noticed and developed his talent in playing the keyboard when he was seven years old during his music lessons. On the other hand, a number of people feel that studying art as a subject in shhools is unimportant and a waste of time. Proponents of this view believe that time spent doing this should be channelled towards teaching students subjects that would enable them apply for professional courses of study later in life. They feel that the future favours people with certificates in such areas of professionalism like medicine, law, amongst others rather than art. Another point they make is that art forms a minority of every nations sector and only favours those gifted in it. Thus children with no interest or skill in art studying it as a subject in schools is unnecessary, while those with talents in art could be enrolled in special extracurricular art courses for further training. However, in my view, I agree with the notion that art is an essential part of people's lives and should be taught to children in schools as earlier discussed in this essay. In addition, every individual in one way or another use a form of art as a stress reliever and developing this area early in life helps people to effectively incorporate it into their lives later in the future. For example, painting, doodling, dancing or even listening to music is done by a vast majority of people either for fun or to destress; exposing children to such activities would help to groom them to be balanced adults. To conclude, while some believe that studying art in schools is a waste of time, others feel that it should be a vital subject taught to children. I agree that art is an important subject that children should be taught seeing that it is essential in raising balanced adults who can use it effectively to destress.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a vital part of children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum, others consider it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
waster. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
tautht
as a key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in schools.

On the one hand, certain individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that its necessary for to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, they consider it as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tool for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self expression
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Studies have shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are exposed
to graphic images
frequently
such as cartoons, they express themselves better when they draw as this activity is fun and pleasurable and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
means of communicating their intents with their peers.
Secondly
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be an effective method of developing talents early in life. This is
particularly
evident as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
prodigies and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is discovered
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lessons in
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
cases.
For example
, W. A. Mozart a music prodigy attested to the fact that his teacher noticed and developed his talent in playing the keyboard when he was seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
during his music lessons.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
shhools
is unimportant and a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Proponents of this view believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent doing this should
be channelled
towards teaching students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that would enable them apply for professional courses of study later in life. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that the future
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with certificates in such areas of professionalism like medicine, law, amongst others
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. Another point they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms a minority of every nations sector and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
those gifted in it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with no interest or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
studying it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is unnecessary, while those with talents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
could
be enrolled
in special extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
courses for
further
training.

However
, in my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an essential part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as earlier discussed in this essay.
In addition
, every individual in one way or another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever and developing this area early in life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
effectively
incorporate it into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
later in the future.
For example
, painting, doodling, dancing or even listening to music
is done
by a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
either for fun or to
Possible spelling mistake found.
destress
; exposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to such activities would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to groom them to
be balanced
adults.

To conclude
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that it should be a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
taught to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
seeing that it is essential in raising balanced adults who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
effectively
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
destress
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children while others think that is is a waste of time. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
497 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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