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The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v.4

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 4
The internet has great effects on people's lives. It has changed the way we communicate with each other, transact business and access information. Not only does the internet have positive aspects, but it also has negatives. However, I believe that it merits overcome its demerits. Concerning the advantages, the internet has many beneficial sides. It has saved people time and efforts. Nowadays, people can participate meetings online through different webinars without the need to travel abroad. Additionally, the distance between people is reduced as they can now contact with their families, friends or colleagues faster and easier by using different mobile applications and social media accounts like Facebook or Twitter. Moreover, online shopping and banking have saved people time. They can purchase books, clothes or household appliances just by one click on Amazon or Souq. Also, the massive open online courses are another good beneficial side. People are able to learn new languages or other materials which build up their knowledge and enrich their experiences. On the other hand, the internet has negative effects on our children and teenagers. They may be exposed to dangerous ideas and beliefs. A recent article is published in the New York Times has figured out that 32% of American youngsters have tried to commit suicide because of the movements and games on the internet like The Blue Whale. Therefore, parents have to monitor the content which their children access to the internet. Moreover, the internet addiction is another disadvantage as many people have spent lots of hours switching between social media platforms and this may unfortunately affect their careers and relationships. In conclusion, the internet has many positive sides, although its negatives which can be reduced by implementing proper laws and under complete parental supervision.
The internet has great effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we communicate with each other, transact business and access information. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the internet have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has negatives.
However
, I believe that it merits overcome its demerits.

Concerning the advantages, the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial sides. It has saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
time and efforts. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can participate meetings online through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
webinars without the need to travel abroad.

Additionally
, the distance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
contact with their families, friends or colleagues faster and easier by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mobile applications and social media accounts like Facebook or Twitter.

Moreover
, online shopping and banking have saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
time. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
books, clothes or household appliances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by one click on Amazon or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Souq
.

Also
, the massive open online courses are another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
beneficial side.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to learn new languages or other materials which build up their knowledge and enrich their experiences.

On the other hand
, the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on our children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They may
be exposed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and beliefs. A recent article
is published
in the New York Times has figured out that 32% of American youngsters have tried to commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the movements and games on the internet like The Blue Whale.
Therefore
, parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
monitor the content which their children access to the internet.

Moreover
, the internet addiction is another disadvantage as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have spent lots of hours switching between social media platforms and this may unfortunately affect their careers and relationships.

In conclusion
, the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, although its negatives which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by implementing proper laws and under complete parental supervision.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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