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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words. v.11

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. 11
There is a highly controversial issue relates to whether it is vital for children to learn art or not. In this essay, I will examine this question from both points of view and then give my own opinion. On one side of the argument, there are many people who argue that art is an important subject for children to learn at school. The main reason why they hold this belief is because art can foster children’s creativity which is very fundamental to children’s career prospects. In order words, through drawing and painting, youngsters can develop creative thinking which can be applied in any fields of careers in the future. Hence, they could be very successful in their professions thanks to high level of creativity. For example, currently I am an English teacher of young children. Teaching children English, I have to be very creative enough to draw pictures to illustrate new vocabulary on the board every day. I see that my drawings and creativity were developed thanks to previous art lessons when I was in primary school. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often claimed that joining lessons of art at school is such a waste of time. People often have this opinion because art is not a compulsory element of many professions from which people can get high salaries. Nowadays, most of parents do not want their children to become artists, but professionals such as doctors or employees in Information Technology so that they can have high income. Hence, those parents do not want their children to spend time on art subject which is not important to their future careers. Instead, they force their children to make use of their time to study subjects that are helpful and directly related to their orentied professions in the future. In conclusion, I believe both points of view have their own merits. On balance, however, I feel that it is crucial for children to participate in lessons of art at school because it can help children improve their creativity which is a vital ability to get success in the future.
There is a
highly
controversial issue relates to whether it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or not. In this essay, I will examine this question from both points of view and then give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn at school. The main reason why they hold this belief is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
creativity which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fundamental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
career prospects. In order words, through drawing and painting, youngsters can develop creative thinking which can
be applied
in any fields of careers in the future.
Hence
, they could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in their professions thanks to high level of creativity.
For example
,
currently
I am an English teacher of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
English, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to draw pictures to illustrate new vocabulary on the board every day. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that my drawings and creativity
were developed
thanks to previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
lessons when I was in primary school.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that joining lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at school is such a waste of time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not a compulsory element of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions from which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high salaries. Nowadays,
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the parents") or simply say "most parents".
most of parents
do not want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become artists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
professionals such as doctors or employees in Information Technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have high income.
Hence
, those parents do not want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
subject which is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to their future careers.
Instead
, they force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their time to study subjects that are helpful and
directly
related to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
orentied
professions in the future.

In conclusion
, I believe both points of view have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that it is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their creativity which is a vital ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in the future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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