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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 3
Art is way for people to express their feelings and creativity to others. Some people consider art is crucial subject for youngsters at school while opponents argue that it is a timepass. This essay will discuss both sides and I argue that it is important subject. On the one hand, it is true that some people that lecture of art and craft is necessary for children at school because school act as a stepping stone to accomplish the success in life. It plays a vital role in career prospective. For instance, children learn their hidden potential through various activities which are held in school such as dancing, singing, art exhibitions etc. Most of the time they spend on school so there is need to motivate them to think about their talent. In this way students also think out of the books. In addition, it is also best criteria for offsprings to express their emotions through paintings and other activities which makes them creative. On the other hand, alternative view is that others claim because of this subject adolescents feel frustrated because more burden of the study. They confront the problems like time management. Also, who are not good at art they seems it difficult and feel disappointments. According to them it should be an optional subject at school, so that only interested students will be participated in this work. Moreover, in conclusion it can be said that art is imperative subject at school rathar than optional because if it is compulsory for students than they understand and will do some efforts to learn about their talent. Than it may helpful for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is way for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to express their feelings and creativity to others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for youngsters at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
while opponents argue that it is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
timepass
. This essay will discuss both sides and I argue that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject.

On the one hand, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that lecture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and craft is necessary for children at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
act as a stepping stone to accomplish the success in life. It plays a vital role in career prospective.
For instance
, children learn their hidden potential through various activities which
are held
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
such as dancing, singing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibitions etc. Most of the time they spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there
is need
to motivate them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their talent. In this way students
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the books.
In addition
, it is
A determiner is probably missing here: "also the best".
also best
criteria for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to express their emotions through paintings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them creative.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, alternative view is that others claim
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
adolescents feel frustrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more burden of the study. They confront the problems like time management.
Also
, who are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
seems
it difficult and feel disappointments. According to them it should be an optional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interested students will
be participated
in this work.

Moreover
,
in conclusion
it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
rathar
than optional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if it is compulsory for students than they understand and will do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
efforts to learn about their talent.
Did you mean "Then"?
Than
it may helpful for them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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