Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. 1
Art is a form of life. While many people today think that art as a subject in school is a waste of time, there are plenty who believe that it is an essential subject for kids at school. I strongly believe that art truly enhances the life of a kid and not only should be an essential subject in his or her coursework, but the kid should also be influenced to pursue his passion Imagine if talented artists were forced into following the regular path followed by the masses and did not follow their dream. Would we, today, have Sachin Tendulkar or Thomas Elva Edison as an inspiration to the world? Art would help children to discover their talent as well as relieve stress. The child would be introdiced to multiple forms of art, allowing him and his parents to discover where his talent lies. A research conducted by the Harvard University in 2012, has led psychologists to come to a conclusion that individuals with a hobby firstly, handle work pressures better, secondly, express their emotions better and thirdly, excel in their careers. However, while children are introduced to art as a subject in school, it should not happen that the child focuses on that coursework all alone. Schools should ensure that the attention given to coursework is well balanced. Parents should make certain that the child does justice to the other courses in addition to the art coursework. There can be situations, when a child turns out to be an average performer in every form of art. At such times, he or she should not feel obligated or forced in a way that he or she becomes a Jack of all trades and a master of none. It should be kept in mind that art as a subject is not meant to add stress to a child, instead, it is meant to relieve it. In conclusion, there has to be a well maintained balance between art as a subject and other subjects in school. It should have a positive impact on a child's life to steer it in the right direction and should not be enforced.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a form of life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a waste of time, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
who believe that it is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for kids at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
truly
enhances the life of a kid and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
should be an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
coursework,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the kid should
also
be influenced
to pursue his
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
passion


Imagine if talented artists
were forced
into following the regular path followed by the masses and did not follow their dream. Would we,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, have
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
or Thomas Elva Edison as an inspiration to the world?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to discover their talent
as well
as relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
introdiced
to multiple forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, allowing him and his parents to discover where his talent lies.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
conducted by the Harvard University in 2012, has led psychologists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a conclusion that individuals with a hobby
firstly
, handle work pressures better,
secondly
, express their emotions better and
thirdly
, excel in their careers.

However
, while children
are introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it should not happen that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
focuses on that coursework all alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should ensure that the attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to coursework is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well balanced
. Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
certain that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does justice to the other courses
in addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
coursework. There can be situations, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
turns out to be an average performer in every form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. At such times, he or she should not feel obligated or forced in a way that he or she becomes a Jack of all trades and a master of none. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is not meant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
,
instead
, it
is meant
to relieve it.

In conclusion
, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a well maintained balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It should have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on a child's life to steer it in the right direction and should not
be enforced
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts