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Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decided by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decided by individuals. v. 1
Whether healthy lifestyle should be a personal choice or should be ensured by a government is a debated issue. According to some, healthy lifestyle is a preference and this is determined by individuals while others believe that the government of a country should take care of the healthcare facilities of all citizens. Personally, I believe that healthy lifestyle is a choice that should be made by each individual while the government of a country should guarantee proper treatment and healthy lifestyle facilities. On one hand, if an individual has the determination of leading a healthy life, he would need very little help from the state. The healthy lifestyle is a habit and this is a choice made by an individual. The government can make sure better healthcare, exercise and entertainment facilities throughout the country but if someone does not have the habit of leading a healthy life, the government has nothing to do about it. Interestingly, this is a choice we can make regardless of our social and economic status. For instance, a man with a lot of money might live an unhealthy lifestyle while someone with a very little earning can decide to live a good and healthy lifestyle. Thus healthy lifestyle is a choice that should be decided by individuals rather than the government of a country. It is evident that family can contribute a lot to teach a child to choose a good and healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, there is no denying the fact that, a government also has an important role to play to ensure a better lifestyle of its citizens. For instance, in countries where the government fails to ensure proper education, health care facilities, recreation and economic development, people usually lead unhealthy life there. Some important laws and policies like drug controlling can determine the extent of people’s healthy lifestyle. Thus it is true that government policy and initiatives help citizens to have a better lifestyle. Considering both viewpoints, I would like to conclude that healthy lifestyle of citizens in a country is a combination of individual choice and government initiatives and policy. Thus personally I feel that each person should choose a healthy lifestyle while the government of a country should ensure proper facilities to make it easier
Whether
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healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
should be a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
or should
be ensured
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is a debated issue. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is a preference and this
is determined
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
while others believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should take care of the healthcare facilities of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
Personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
that should
be made
by each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should guarantee proper treatment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
facilities.

On one hand, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has the determination of leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life, he would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the state. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is a habit and this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
made by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure better healthcare, exercise and entertainment facilities throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if someone does not have the habit of leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has nothing to do about it.
Interestingly
, this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
regardless of our social and economic status.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
while someone with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
earning can decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
that should
be decided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is evident that family can contribute a lot to teach a child to choose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

On the other hand
, there is no denying the fact that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play to ensure a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
fails to ensure proper education, health care facilities, recreation and economic development,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
lead unhealthy life there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
laws and policies like drug controlling can determine the extent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policy and initiatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to have a better lifestyle.

Considering both viewpoints, I would like
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
initiatives and policy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
personally
I feel that each person should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should ensure proper facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
easier
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decided by individuals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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