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Some people believe that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. v. 1
One of the controversial issues today is to whether some people argue that radio is the most powerful communication device to broadcast the news, or there are others who are with the view that television has more merits than radio for providing news. In this essay I am going to shed some lights on both points of view and extend my support to latter opinion. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that television, which provides audio and visual news, is advantageous. The main reason for believing this that tv news can report a story with visuals, which help to create strong impact on our mind. Second most valuable benefit is that due to satelight technology, the television provides an immediate news without any delay. For instance, The biggest flood called Tsunami which mankind experienced few years ago, was telecast on TV with videos helped to learn about the disaster and how much it damaged the nation and properties. Therefore has gained support. , it is easy to see that why their argument has gained support. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case, it is often argue that radio is welcomed by many as the efficient device to get news. To begin with, radio which is communication device is handy and portable which gives the listener opportunity to enjoy the program anywhere he prefers, Furthermore, these days radio is an embedded device in many electronic devices like mobile phones and in cars. For example, if someone is travelling and wants to know about things like whether in a particular area then they can tune radio and get all the interesting information. Therefore radio is the best way to get news. To recapitulate, both arguments have their merits. On balance, However, in the light of above plausible argument along with examples, it would be quite safe to conclude that television is the most efficient method to telecast news to general public compared to news.
One of the controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is to whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is the most powerful communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
to broadcast the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, or there are others who are with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has more merits than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In this essay I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lights on both points of view and extend my support to latter opinion.

On one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, which provides audio and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, is advantageous. The main reason for believing this that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can report a story with visuals, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create strong impact on our mind. Second most valuable benefit is that due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
satelight
technology, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provides an immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
without any delay.
For instance
, The biggest flood called Tsunami which mankind experienced few years ago, was telecast on TV with videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to learn about the disaster and how much it damaged the nation and properties.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
has gained support.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that why their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
has gained support.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is welcomed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
which is communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
is handy and portable which gives the listener opportunity to enjoy the program anywhere he prefers,
Furthermore
, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is an embedded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
like mobile phones and in cars.
For example
, if someone is travelling and wants to know about things like whether in a particular area then they can tune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the interesting information.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
news.

To recapitulate, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arguments
have their merits. On balance,
However
, in the light of above plausible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
along with examples, it would be quite safe
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the most efficient method to telecast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
Consider using "public".
general public
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that radio is the best way to get news while others think that television is better for this purpose. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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