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In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 4
In the economic structures of many countries in the world, it is observed that a huge deviation exists among the salary structure of the employees. Some employees usually earn extremely high salaries, whereas, many other have lower pay scales. Some people consider it a positive sign for a country but some refute this and proclaims that government should have limitize the salaries amount. I will discuss both opinions in my Essay. On the one hand, it is believed that earning higher levels of salaries by individuals is beneficial for country, government and the individuals earning it. Moreover, if an employee reaches the top limits of pay/salary scale that means he/she deserves it and company values his/her competences and experience. For Instance, we consider cement sector and taking real life example of D. G. Khan Cement Company, which is indeed the second largest cement producing company in Pakistan. By analyzing pay structure, it is observed that an electrical engineer is earning approximately half a Million Rupees a month but a Manager Finance usually earns half of it while being on the same position in terms of grade. It is because of the fact that an electrical engineer is technical person and spends more of his time outdoor and believed to be a key person in the plant. Subsequently, he deserves more salary/compensation. on the other hand, many people believe that there has to be a limit over the remunerations paid to employees and government should back/organize the same. Furthermore, by sealing the pay scale or by limiting the amount, almost all the employees of any organization would be benefited as the pay scale of the people with lower salaries will be improved. For Instance, MCB Bank Limited is largest financial institution in Pakistan. In addition, the same approach can be observed in this organization as the model discussed earlier is well implemented in this esteemed Bank. Resultantly, the employees working in this Bank are very much satisfied, motivated and contented. On the top of it, the Bank is growing at a rapid pace and earning huge profits as well as paying more than 3 Billion Rupees as Tax to Government of Pakistan. In a nutshell, it can be said that the both approaches are logical and beneficial in many contexts. But in my opinion, the proper distribution of wealth is always a better approach and provides benefits to more and more people. As a result, the employers, employees, companies and governments all gets benefited.
In the economic structures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the world, it
is observed
that a huge deviation exists among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
usually
earn
extremely
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other have lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scales
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
refute this and proclaims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have
Possible spelling mistake found.
limitize
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
amount. I will discuss both opinions in my Essay.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
higher levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
by individuals is beneficial for country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
it.
Moreover
, if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
reaches the top limits of pay/salary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
that means he/she deserves it and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
values his/her competences and experience.
For Instance
, we consider cement sector and taking real life example of D. G. Khan Cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
, which is
indeed
the second largest cement producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in Pakistan. By analyzing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
structure, it
is observed
that an electrical engineer is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
approximately half a Million Rupees a month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a Manager Finance
usually
earns half of it while being on the same position in terms of grade. It is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
an electrical engineer is technical person and spends more of his time outdoor and believed to be a key person in the plant.
Subsequently
, he deserves more salary/compensation.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be a limit over the remunerations paid to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should back/organize the same.
Furthermore
, by sealing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
or by limiting the amount, almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of any organization would
be benefited
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
For Instance
, MCB
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
Limited is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
financial institution in Pakistan.
In addition
, the same approach can
be observed
in this organization as the model discussed earlier is well implemented in this esteemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
.
Resultantly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
working in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much satisfied, motivated and contented. On the top of it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bank
is growing at a rapid pace and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
huge profits
as well
as paying more than 3 Billion Rupees as Tax to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
of Pakistan.

In a nutshell, it can
be said
that the both approaches are logical and beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
contexts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, the proper distribution of wealth is always a better approach and provides benefits to more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, the employers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
benefited.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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