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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.15

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 15
Many people consider that it is important for children to learn art at school, however, there are others who opine that it is totally a wastage of student's study time. In my opinion, art is certainly as important as any other subjects because it helps younger children in learning history and in expressing themselves. On the one hand, art is considered a useful skill as it allows children to learn about the history and cultural heritage of their nation. It is a well-known fact that the children better learn through images than text, therefore teachers use various art pieces to explain them many historical events. According to a survey, it was found that children who learned the story through snapshots were able to retain that information for longer duration as compared to others. Additionally, children learn to express themselves via creativity. Art helps children in communicating many concepts which they otherwise find difficult to explain. On the other hand, many people believe that art is not an important subject to be taught at school because it does not add any value to their profile as other subjects such as math and science does. Simple mathematics calculations are always used in later stages of life, so it is important to learn the math at school level, but this is not the case with Art. Moreover, art does not help children in finding a job when they reach adulthood. This skill is not given much weightage by any employer. In conclusion, art may not help children in getting a good job or may not be used in practical life when they reach adulthood, but in childhood it helps children immensely by encouraging them to learn about their culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at school,
however
, there are others who opine that it is
totally
a wastage of student's study time. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
certainly
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in learning history and in expressing themselves.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is considered
a useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about the history and cultural heritage of their nation.
It is a well-known fact that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through images than text,
therefore
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
pieces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. According to a survey, it
was found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who learned the story through snapshots were able to retain that information for longer duration as compared to others.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to express themselves via creativity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in communicating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concepts which they
otherwise
find difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
subject to
be taught
at school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
any value to their profile as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects such as math and science does. Simple mathematics calculations are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in later stages of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the math at school level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in finding a job when they reach adulthood. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
much weightage by any employer.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job or may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in practical life when they reach adulthood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in childhood it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
immensely
by encouraging them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about their culture.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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