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In recent years, the number of children participating in sports and other physical activities has decreased. Identify some of the resulting problems and state ways to address them. v.1

In recent years, the number of children participating in sports and other physical activities has decreased. Identify some of the resulting problems and state ways to address them. v. 1
Extra curricular activities play an integral role in children's lives. Since the last decade, there has been a decline in the number of adults who participate in sports events. The main problem with this is that they become obese and their hidden talent is overlooked. However, a possible solution might be for teachers to reduce the homework and parents encourage their children to participate. One problem which stems from not taking part in any activity is obesity. Having said that, after spending eight to nine hours in school children have to do their homework along with some extra classes. This burden usually prevents them from participating in any sports event like cricket, football, running and tennis. As a result, they put on their weight. To resolve this issue, teachers should teach in a way that least homework should be provided to them, which enables them to pay attention to recreational activities. For example, a survey conducted by the New York Times in April 2019 showed that the majority of adults who take part in different events are more active and fit compared to those who do not. Another problem due to not taking part in curricular activities is neglecting hidden talent. Every adult possesses a unique talent inside him or her such as athlete, swimmer, dancer, etc. however, they are often ignored by their parents owing to the heavy burden of studies. To tackle this problem, parents should encourage their offspring by setting a time limit to pursue their desired field. So that their talent will be utilized and appreciated. For instance, Sachin Tendulkar of India who became well-known cricketer in the world is because his parent recognized his talent in childhood and supported him to be a cricketer. In conclusion, restricting children from taking part in sports activities can cause obesity and ignore hidden talent. Only when teachers reduce the homework and parents value their children hidden talents, will be the problem solved.
This word is normally spelled as one.
Extra curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play an integral role in children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Since the last decade, there has been a decline in the number of adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participate in sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with this is that they become obese and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is overlooked
.
However
, a possible solution might be for teachers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which stems from not taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is obesity. Having said that, after spending eight to nine hours in school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra classes. This burden
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from participating in any sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like cricket, football, running and tennis.
As a result
, they put on their weight. To resolve this issue, teachers should teach in a way that least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
should
be provided
to them, which enables them to pay attention to recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, a survey conducted by the New York Times in April 2019
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the majority of adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are more active and fit compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to not taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is neglecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. Every adult possesses a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
inside him or her such as athlete, swimmer, dancer, etc.
however
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
owing to the heavy burden of studies. To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage their offspring by setting a time limit to pursue their desired field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
will
be utilized
and appreciated.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
of India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
became well-known cricketer in the world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
recognized his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in childhood and supported him to be a cricketer.

In conclusion
, restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can cause obesity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
value their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, will be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solved.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, the number of children participating in sports and other physical activities has decreased. Identify some of the resulting problems and state ways to address them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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