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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. v. 12
The art plays a prime role in the upbringing of children from young age as it provides an engaging information about the culture, people and also improve creative skills. Art is what keeps humanity alive and it is an source of enterrtainment in offering solace to oneself in today's busy world. Art includes differnet aspects such as painting, singing, poetry and acting making children learn these forms of art enchances the creative side of brain which may also help them in there academic subjects to think from a differnet perspective. Children can improve social skills such as teamwork, how to behave in a group, learn social ettiquites, leadership qualities all these qualities make children a complete human being when they grow up to become an adult. Although their is a lot of use on learning arts some people think it as waste of time because in today's world as it is changing very swiftly it is important to engage children from an young age on subjects, such as science and mathematics so they can become competent enough to fit into the world of technology and also help themselves secure a safe job. Another group of people argue that children who are interested and want to pursue art as there career option should only be taught as it leaves room for children who are not interested so they can master there own field excluding arts. In my opinion, art is as important as science, sports and other academic subjects because all these together groom children into a complete human being as core skills such as leadership qualities, culture, language, social behaviour, general ettiquites can be imbibed into children only by studying art as these are the major skills needed to excel in world, though we are good at what we do.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a prime role in the upbringing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from young age as it provides
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'an' is probably wrong.
an engaging information
about the culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
humanity alive and it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
source of
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterrtainment
in offering solace to oneself in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's busy world.

Art includes
Possible spelling mistake found.
differnet
aspects such as painting, singing, poetry and acting making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn these forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Possible spelling mistake found.
enchances
the creative side of brain which may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in
Did you mean "their"?
there
academic subjects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
differnet
perspective.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as teamwork, how to behave in a group, learn social
Possible spelling mistake found.
ettiquites
, leadership qualities all these qualities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a complete human being when they grow up to become an adult.

Although
Did you mean "there"?
their
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
on learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it as waste of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as it is changing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
swiftly
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
young age on subjects, such as science and mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can become competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to fit into the world of technology and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves secure a safe job. Another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are interested
and want to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as there career option should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not interested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can master there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
field excluding arts.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as science, sports and other academic subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all these together groom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into a complete human being as core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as leadership qualities, culture, language, social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, general
Possible spelling mistake found.
ettiquites
can
be imbibed
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as these are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
needed to excel in world, though we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at what we do.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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