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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Government must the money in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with this situation? v.1

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Government must the money in public services instead. v. 1
Politics plays a significant role in human development. Some people think that government spends stock in theatre and music is a wastage of salary they must spend endowment in civil service. I agree with the statement. Jurisdiction invests wage in the highway organization because road service is not well infrastructure and large particles and slugs on the road. Authority should spend endowment to improve highway organization because it improves transportation and the problems which face by travellers who towards their destination. It helps the travellers to reach on time. Moving towards, if the government spends capital in education organisation, to elaborate, in government schools and colleges to improve their infrastructure and teaching way. The jurisdiction invests wage to give advance technology facilities in authority schools to give students advance knowledge. In that way school students get better job opportunities. If a person gets a better job so their financial support their parents. To elaborate, the educational system of India is not well that is the reason the Indie is not counted in successful countries. On the other side, some people think that authority invests wage in the art, music and theatre is not a waste of cash because entertainment sources are very important for life. It is a joyful place for people to visit the theatre on their weekend and relax from their stressful lives. People spend their leisure time with their families and friends. To conclude, improvement in the education system is a most important source for investing salary rather than spend funds in entertainment sources.
Politics plays a significant role in human development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
stock in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and music is a wastage of salary they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
endowment in civil service. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

Jurisdiction invests wage in the highway organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
road service is not well infrastructure and large particles and slugs on the road. Authority should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
endowment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
highway organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
transportation and the problems which face by
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
who towards their destination. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to reach on time.

Moving towards, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
capital in education
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
, to elaborate, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools and colleges to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their infrastructure and teaching way. The jurisdiction invests wage to give advance technology facilities in authority schools to give students advance knowledge. In that way school students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job opportunities. If a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a better job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their financial support their parents. To elaborate, the educational system of India is not well
that is
the reason the Indie is not counted in successful countries.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that authority invests wage in the art, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is not a waste of cash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
entertainment sources are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for life. It is a joyful place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
on their weekend and relax from their stressful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their leisure time with their families and friends.

To conclude
, improvement in the education system is a most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source for investing salary
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
funds in entertainment sources.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Government must the money in public services instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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