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It is a common practice for some students to take a gap year between high school and university in order to do charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries. what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing volunteer work for young people? v.1

It is a common practice for some students to take a gap year between high school and university in order to do charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries. what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing volunteer work for young people? v. 1
There has been an ongoing trend of many youngsters from prosperous nations deciding to spend their time doing voluntary work in underprivileged countries. Some of the prominent reasons for this phenomenon will be discussed, before the benefits of both individuals and developing countries are analysed. There are several convincing reasons associated with this practice. The most significant factor is that doing such unpaid work in poor countries would be a comparative advantage for the young when applying for a job in the future. In other words, in this fierce and competitive job market, a candidate possessing an application file accompanied by only great scores could not be the ideal one that a recruiter is finding; therefore, he or she needs outstanding volunteering experience to be able to surpass other rivals. Another reason that is worth mentioning is that young generations could engender the feeling of community when participating in unsalaried work. Their voluntary efforts help to give prominence to the value of sharing and the sense of social responsibility to secure improved humanity and international awareness about disadvantaged places. It is undoubted that both the young volunteers and emerging countries could equally gain from this phenomenon. Concerning the young, it is apparent that the aforementioned meaningful work not only brings the doers unforgettable life lessons, gives them hands – on experience but also helps expand their network of relationships. Throughout these journeys of youth, they gradually grow more mature and confident, realizing the diversity of life by getting to know many walks of people. In regard to poorer countries, they may have a chance to raise the living standards of their dwellers. For instance, knowledge related to environment protection or health care which they have acquired from overseas volunteers possibly improves their living conditions afterwards. To sum up, the requirement of more competitive profile and the determination to support financially disadvantaged countries are the two principal elements that make young people join a wide range of voluntary activities. I would contend that both the doers and the receivers are the beneficiaries of the practice above
There has been an ongoing trend of
many
youngsters from prosperous nations deciding to spend their time doing voluntary
work
in underprivileged
countries
.
Some of the
prominent reasons for this phenomenon will
be discussed
,
before
the benefits of both individuals and developing
countries
are
analysed
.

There are several convincing reasons associated with this practice. The most significant factor is that doing such unpaid
work
in poor
countries
would be a comparative advantage for the
young
when applying for a job in the future.
In other words
, in this fierce and competitive job market, a candidate possessing an application file accompanied by
only
great scores could not be the ideal one that a recruiter is finding;
therefore
, he or she needs outstanding volunteering experience to be able to surpass other rivals. Another reason
that is
worth mentioning is that
young
generations could engender the feeling of community when participating in
unsalaried
work
. Their voluntary efforts
help
to give prominence to the value of sharing and the sense of social responsibility to secure
improved
humanity and international awareness about disadvantaged places.

It
is undoubted
that both the
young
volunteers and emerging
countries
could
equally
gain from this phenomenon. Concerning the
young
, it is apparent that the aforementioned meaningful
work
not
only
brings the doers unforgettable life lessons, gives them hands
on experience
but
also
helps
expand their network of relationships. Throughout these journeys of youth, they
gradually
grow more mature and confident, realizing the diversity of life by getting to know
many
walks of
people
. In regard to poorer
countries
, they may have a chance to raise the living standards of their dwellers.
For instance
, knowledge related to environment protection or health care which they have acquired from overseas volunteers
possibly
improves
their living conditions afterwards.

To sum up, the requirement of more competitive profile and the determination to support
financially
disadvantaged
countries
are the two principal elements that
make
young
people
join
a wide range of voluntary activities. I would contend that both the doers and the receivers are the beneficiaries of the practice
above
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is a common practice for some students to take a gap year between high school and university in order to do charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries. what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing volunteer work for young people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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