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Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). v. 5
It is believed by many people that all criminals should be sent to jail, while others hold the view that there are better punishments. This essay discusses both of these views and then my perspective will be given. On the one hand, there are several reasons for some people to think that all offenders should be put into prison. Firstly, it is obvious that all offenders are dangerous and can harm others. Therefore, they should be locked up so that they do not pose a threat to their community. Secondly, putting all lawbreakers into prison can act as an effective deterrent against commiting crime. This makes crime rates in society decrease significantly. On the other hand, there are also reasons for some individuals to believe that there are better alternatives. One of them is that some criminals do not deserve to serve prison sentences because their offenses may not cause serious consequences. For example, authorities should be lenient on minor crimes such as petty thefts and should not sent people commiting such crimes to prison. In contrast, more serious crimes should receive more rigorous punishments than imprisonment. For instance, individuals that are guilty of murder should be given the death penalty instead of being sentenced to several years in jail. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for both of the views mentioned above. Nevertheless, it is my opinion that other alternative punishments are better. This is because some offenders do not cause serious crimes to be put into jail while more serious criminals should receive stricter punishments than imprisionment.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that all criminals should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to jail, while others hold the view that there are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
. This essay discusses both of these views and then my perspective will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, there are several reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all offenders should
be put
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Firstly
, it is obvious that all offenders are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and can harm others.
Therefore
, they should
be locked
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not pose a threat to their community.
Secondly
, putting all lawbreakers into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
can act as an effective deterrent against
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates in society decrease
significantly
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
also
reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals to believe that there are better alternatives. One of them is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criminals do not deserve to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their offenses may not cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
consequences.
For example
, authorities should be lenient on minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as petty thefts and should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "send"
sent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
commiting
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
In contrast
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
should receive more rigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
than imprisonment.
For instance
, individuals that are guilty of murder should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the death penalty
instead
of
being sentenced
to several years in jail.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments for both of the views mentioned above.
Nevertheless
, it is my opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are better. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders do not cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to
be put
into jail while more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
criminals should receive stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
imprisionment
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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