Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

We have witnessed many crimes in modern society. It is argued that all of the lawbreakers should be sent to jail, while others think that there are better alternative choices for lawbreakers to amend themselves. In my opinion, these statements are reasonable. It is certainly true that lawbreakers should be taken into the prison for some reasons. One of the reasons is that this policy can to protect the inhabitants of cities. Lawbreakers usually commit crimes that will bring harms to the others such as stealing and robbing. By sending crime offenders to prisons, it can ensure that the society safety. As a result, citizens subsequently would feel that the society is peaceful and secured. Another reason is that this action reduce the crime rate. By strictly imposing punishment to criminals, it will decrease the level of crime rate because it has deterrent effects. Consequently, people would give up the thought of committing crimes. However, there are opposing voices saying that there are better ways to solve this problem. To begin with, the government should offer jobs to criminals. Re-offenders, in most cases, are struggling with extremely limited income in their lives. Given secured jobs and reasonable payments, they naturally can learn some practical skills such as computer skills. Therefore, they will not risk their liberty because they live like ordinary residents with sufficient income. Apart from this, the government should provide free education to them. Due to leak of educating in the past, perpetrators were unable to judge what was right and wrong things to do. Being significantly educating, they will become good members and will not return to crime. Overall 6 I can see your great effort in finishing this essay, but you still need to be careful with the way you use academic English. First, basic grammatical mistakes must be avoided in high-scored essays. I know that even though you are fully aware of mistakes that I pointed out above, it’s possible that you will make the same mistake in the next essay. So you must think of a measure to tackle this. Second, try to pay attention to the use of vocabularies/phrases. With little changes, your range of vocabularies would change as I have showed you in detail comments of suggestion. Try to read more, be immersed more frequently in English environment even talking to yourself. Third, analyze how an instructor suggest a different structure for your essay/paragraph as they have experienced the same issue but in different context. If you are just look through the suggested structure, it is not acquired, but learned. In conclusion, although some people think that all the criminal offenders should be imprisoned, I still think that it will not solved the problems. However, if the government is able to provide free education to lawbreakers, this will give them a second chance in life.