Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). v. 1
It is generally thought, in some countries, that death penalty is the best way to convince people not to commit crimes. Others believe that a long life sentence is a better way. In this essay I will discuss this topic, taking into account advantages and disadvantages from both points of view. Regarding the first view, we could say that there isn't nothing worse than death. So with what courage would anyone commit a crime, in a country where capital punishment is legal? On the base of this logical reasoning, in this way infractions could be reduced to almost zero. However, we can see that in most cases this is not true. In fact, despite this belief, studies reveal the opposite. For example, there is capital punishment in some of the USA States, but in these places the crime rate is not less than that of other cities or countries where the death penalty is not allowed. Contrariwise, according to the studies conducted on this topic, a long life sentence seems to be a much better deterrent. From a certain point of view, spend all of our remaining life in prison can be worse than an immediate death. In conclusion, I believe that capital punishment is absolutely not necessary to reduce crime rate, but I think that the most important thing about this topic is that we don't have any right to kill another human being, whatever the crime he has committed. None of us can have a greater right over a person's life.
It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, that death penalty is the best way to convince
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. Others believe that a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sentence is a better way. In this essay I will discuss this topic, taking into account advantages and disadvantages from both points of view.

Regarding the
first
view, we could say that there isn'
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
t nothing
worse than death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with what courage would anyone commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, in a country where capital punishment is legal? On the base of this logical reasoning, in this way infractions could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to almost zero.
However
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
in most cases
this is not true.

In fact, despite this belief, studies reveal the opposite.
For example
, there is capital punishment in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
USA States,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in these places the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is not less than that of other cities or countries where the death penalty is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. Contrariwise, according to the studies conducted on this topic, a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sentence seems to be a much better deterrent. From a certain point of view, spend all of our remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in prison can be worse than an immediate death.

In conclusion
, I believe that capital punishment is
absolutely
not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing about this topic is that we don't have any right to kill another human being, whatever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
he has committed. None of us can have a greater
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "over".
right over
a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives, (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts