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Nowadays education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries However this trend has its detractors Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for this trend v.4

Nowadays education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries However this trend has its detractors Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for this trend v. 4
These days, some parents tend to send their children to go to study abroad. Despite some disadvantages for this trend, I do believe that the benefits can far outweigh these drawbacks. On one hand, there are a number of major positive aspects for students who have an educational system from another countries. A first immense advantages is that the children can develop their independent ability. This means that these children will learn how to cook, wash dishes and other stuffs by themselves. Without their parents, they also have to find a part-time job to make ends meet and learn the money management. Another important positive aspect is that studying abroad enhances the children’s employment prospects. Needless to say, if a person has a degree from a higher educational system with a high standard rather than their original country, it is possible for them to have a decent job with a worth salary. In fact, many companies tend to recruit and prioritise people with a global outlook. A final advantage for this trend is that living in another country help them gain the broader view of life and different cultures. This means that these children will always consider or evaluate a situation or a phenomenon in different ways of thinking. In certain situations, however, if the children live without their parental supervision, it is easy for them to have an unhealthy and a harmful life such as drugs-taking or drinking. This is a major drawback for sending childrens to study abroad. To sum up, even there is a drawback for this situation, I still do believe that in this modern time, studying in another country is a best educational process and would be a positive experience for children.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go to study abroad. Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for this trend, I do believe that the benefits can far outweigh these drawbacks.

On one hand, there are a number of major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects for students who have an educational system from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. A
first
immense advantages is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop their independent ability. This means that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn how to cook, wash dishes and other stuffs by themselves. Without their parents, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find a part-time job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and learn the money management.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect is that studying abroad enhances the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
employment prospects. Needless to say, if a person has a degree from a higher educational system with a high standard
rather
than their original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it is possible for them to have a decent job with a worth salary. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to recruit and
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a global outlook.

A final advantage for this trend is that living in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them gain the broader view of life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. This means that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will always consider or evaluate a situation or a phenomenon in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of thinking.

In certain situations,
however
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without their parental supervision, it is easy for them to have an unhealthy and a harmful life such as drugs-taking or drinking. This is a major drawback for sending
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to study abroad.

To sum up, even there is a drawback for this situation, I
still
do believe that in this modern time, studying in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best educational process and would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
experience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries However this trend has its detractors Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for this trend v. 4

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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