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Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v.9

Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 9
With an unprecedented development in the realms of science and technology, there is now an increasing debate if geography is out-of-date in today’s time and have little relevance and therefore should be removed. Others, still believe that geography is an ever-green and core subject which fosters a child general knowledge, and thus is indispensable and schools must continue teaching it. In my opinion, although, updating school curriculum to match with fast paced technological development is good, however, subjects such as geography and arts imparts students with mandatory general knowledge and should be mandatory part of curriculum. Geography, firstly, is the only subject that deals with the physical and geometric aspects of our universe. Knowledge of which, I believe, is absolutely a must. We cannot imagine our future generation of educated people having no idea about the basic facts of our planet. Climatic knowledge gained by studying geography, secondly, is also necessary for a student to have, especially, during current times where the global environmental deterioration as a result of drastic climate change is on rise. Therefore, we and our future generation will not be able to tackle this spiny problem, if we are not taught about it at the first place. Basic facts about the countries and their locations, finally, is also required, as many corporates and businesses look for candidates having sound general knowledge on various fields of life. On the other hand, few people argue that studying geography does not add any value to a child’s future and consider it to be obsolete. They believe that we must concentrate on much more important subjects such as science and technology. Those people, as per me are short-sighted and they see only the immediate benefits of a child’s education. Studying technology is definitely beneficial and there is no denying this fact. However, other subjects too have their own benefits which may not be evidently perceivable, but have a long-term benefit to a student and a society at large. From the above argument, it can be concluded that current students are our future generation and they must have a fine blend of knowledge from various fields, including traditional subjects like geography and history, as well as, today’s relevant one’s such as science and technology.
With an unprecedented development in the realms of science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
an increasing debate if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
is out-of-date in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s time and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
relevance and
therefore
should
be removed
. Others,
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
is an ever-green and core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which fosters a child general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, and
thus
is indispensable and schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue teaching it. In my opinion, although, updating school curriculum to match with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced technological development is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
and arts imparts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with mandatory general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and should be mandatory part of curriculum.

Geography,
firstly
, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that deals with the physical and geometric aspects of our universe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
of which, I believe, is
absolutely
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. We cannot imagine our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation of educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the basic facts of our planet. Climatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained by studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
,
secondly
, is
also
necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to have,
especially
, during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
It is better to use 'times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
times where
the global environmental deterioration
as a result
of drastic climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is on rise.
Therefore
, we and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation will not be able to tackle this spiny problem, if we are not taught about it at the
first
place. Basic facts about the countries and their locations,
finally
, is
also
required, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
and businesses look for candidates having sound general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on various fields of life.

On the other hand
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
any value to a child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and consider it to be obsolete. They believe that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
concentrate on much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, as per me are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
short-sighted and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the immediate benefits of a child’s education. Studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is definitely beneficial and there is no denying this fact.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
Did you mean "to have"?
too have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits which may not be
evidently
perceivable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a long-term benefit to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and a society at large.

From the above argument, it can
be concluded
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generation and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a fine blend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from various fields, including traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
and history,
as well
as,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s relevant one’s such as science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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