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Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However… October 30, 2018 By bw However…some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However… October 30, 2018 By bw However…some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 1
It is true that studying Geography in school is important. I agree partially with this opinion and also supports that studying other important subjects like Science, Mathematics, Tecnology and English are also most vital than studying Geography only, especially STEM subjects. To begin with, by studying Geography, one can acquire knowledge about the Earth, the Oceans and the mountains and their range in different countries of the world. But on the other hand, in this era of information technology all the above mentioned information and maps and current weather reports are available instaneously on personal computers, smart phones, via Google search engine. Even uneducated also able to understand it thouroughly. Hence studying Geography in depth is not essential at higher education or primary education levels. However basic knowledge in Geography in essential for every student. On the contrary, familiarity or knowledge in other life essential or science subjects like STEM-Science, Techonology, English and Mathematics are highly desirable in this current age of neck throat competition to get a job in market in order to survive. For example, in a survey conducted by British primary and higher education council, few years ago 90 % of pupils have chosen STEM subjects after their graduation compared to Social sciences and Arts. Not only for job purpose, Science gives valuable knowledge in day to day needs and at times saves the life of fellow passengers in the form of first aid for instance in a road traffic accidents or plain crashes. In addition, being expert in English language, one can manage in all over the world, even without further gross knowledge in other subjects as people will be impressed by language skills and respond to help us. To conclude, choosing only Geography and devoting all time on it is not much productive, in comparison to STEM subjects in terms of future job and learning life skills.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
in school is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
partially
with this opinion and
also
supports that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
, Mathematics,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tecnology
and English are
also
most vital than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
especially
STEM subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
, one can acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the Earth, the Oceans and the mountains and their range in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in this era of information technology all the above mentioned information and maps and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
weather reports are available
Possible spelling mistake found.
instaneously
on personal computers, smart phones, via Google search engine. Even uneducated
also
able to understand it
Possible spelling mistake found.
thouroughly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
in depth is not essential at higher education or primary education levels.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
in essential for every student.

On the contrary
, familiarity or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
life essential or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like STEM-Science,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Techonology
, English and Mathematics are
highly
desirable in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
age of neck throat competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in market in order to survive.
For example
, in a survey conducted by British primary and higher education council, few years ago 90 % of pupils have chosen STEM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
after their graduation compared to Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and Arts. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for job purpose,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
gives valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in day to day needs and at times saves the life of fellow passengers in the form of
first
aid
for instance
in a road traffic accidents or plain crashes.
In addition
, being expert in English language, one can manage in all over the world, even without
further
gross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be impressed
by language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and respond to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us.

To conclude
, choosing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
and devoting all time on it is not much productive,
in comparison
to STEM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in terms of future job and learning life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However… October 30, 2018 By bw However…some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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