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Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 2
With continual changes in school curriculum and un-predictable development in science and technology, the question of whether to maintain or drop Geography in school syllabus is an interesting debate. In my opinion, since environment conditions and time changes are being played out, Geography is an essential one for children to study at school level. Firstly, Geography is the main subject that deals with the study of the universe and climate changes. Maps help to understand the international borders across the world. In addition, Geography eases a way to learn the complex subjects such as astronomy and geology. Moreover, geopolitical issues are being pop-out nowadays, Children should be keen to learn the geography from the school level. In brief, it can bring light options when they come to travel latterly. For instance, Indian Government live streaming the Geographical program on every Sunday in their official radio for children to get basic knowledge of earth science and also get better understanding of their countrys landscape. Secondly, since learning Geography from school level, Children will get the responsibility to save the earth and try to not causing any damage to natural things. We have not refused the science & technology growing rapidly though including Geography makes the children to aware of the natural things have been constructed. Therefore, if they develop any technology related things, the things can adapt the nature of universe. For instance, recently, a small kid have been influenced by Geography, asked the questions about climate changes to World political leaders at Climate Action Summit 2019 Conference. I just outline this example for why Geography important to children. To conclude, Removing Geography from school subjects, the amount of perceived options can be overlooked and that available will be reduced to students.
With continual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum and
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-predictable
development in science and technology,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
to maintain or drop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus is an interesting debate. In my opinion, since environment conditions and time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
being played
out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
is an essential one for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
is the main subject that deals with the study of the universe and climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. Maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand the international borders across the world.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
a way to learn the complex subjects such as astronomy and geology.
Moreover
, geopolitical issues are being pop-out nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should be keen to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
geography
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level.
In brief
, it can bring light options when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to travel
latterly
.
For instance
, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
live streaming
the Geographical program on every Sunday in their official radio for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
basic knowledge of earth science and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better understanding of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
countrys
landscape.

Secondly
, since learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the responsibility to save the earth and try to not causing any damage to natural things. We have not refused the science & technology growing
rapidly
though including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to aware of the natural things have
been constructed
.
Therefore
, if they develop any technology related things, the things can adapt the nature of universe.
For instance
, recently, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kid have
been influenced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
, asked the questions about climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
to World political leaders at Climate Action Summit 2019 Conference. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
outline this example for why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to children.

To conclude
, Removing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Geography
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects, the amount of perceived options can
be overlooked
and that available will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to students.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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