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Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v.3

Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 3
IT IS OFTEN SAID BY SOME THAT GEOGRAPHY SHOULD BE MADE COMPULSARY DURING SCHOOL STUDIES. WHEREAS, OTHERS OPPOSE THIS IDEA BY SAYING THAT SCHOOL SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN MORE REGARDING LIFE AS AS SUBJECT. THIS ESSAY WILL STATHE THE OPINION THAT LEARNIG GEOGRQAPHY AND ABOUT LIFE AS SUBJECT BOTH SHOULD BE GIVEN AN EQUAL PRIORITY IN SCHOOL FOR ALL THE PUPILS BECAUSE OF THEIR BENEFITS. TO START WITH, THE PRIME REASON FOR TEACHING GIPOGRAPHY IN SCHOOL IS THAT IT INCREASES THE KNOWLEDGE OF THEIR OWN COUNTRY'S GEOGRAPHY SUCH AS, WHERE IS IN HE WORLD'S MAP, HOW MUCH AREA IT IS COVERING AND SO ON. TO ELABORATE, IF IT OS TAUGHT IN THE SCHOOL THEN AFTER THE ADULTHOOD, WHEN ONE WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT IT HE CAN. BECAUSE HE IS ALREADY KNOWING BASIC ABOUT IT. AND IF NOT THEN ATLEST HE WILL HAVE SOME GENERAL KNOWLEDGE. FOR AN EXAMPLE, AFTER SCHOLLING, OFFSPRING MIGHT HAVE INTEREST IN KNOWNING MORE ABOUT GEOGRAPHY, THEN PERSON CAN EASILY GO FOR FURTHER EDUCATION IN THAT FIELD WITHOUT CARING ANY FEAR. IF NOT THEN THAT KNOWLEDGE CAN BE HELPFUL IN GETTING GOVERNMENT JOBS SUCH AS UPSC, GPSC ETC. IN THAT EXAM THERE USED TO BE MORE QUESTIONS RELATED TO GENERAL KNOWLEDGE SO INFORMATION FROM SCHOOLING EDUCATION MAY BE BENEFICIAL IN RESERVING AUTHORITY WORK. ON HE OTHER HAND, IT IS ALSO ESSENTIAL THAT JUVENILES ARE GETING ENOUGH TEACHING ABOUT LIFE SUCH AS, HOW TO BE A GOOD MEMBER OF THE SOCIETY AS WELL AS CIVILIAN, WHAT IS OUR RESPONSIBILTY AS HUMAN IN THE WORLD. TO ILLUSTRATE, AS CHILDHOOD IS STAGE OF JUVENILE IN WHICH THEY ARE EASILY INFLUENCE BY OTHER UNNECCESSARY THINGS. AND SCHOOL IS A PLACE WHERE THEY ARE SPENDING THEIR MOST OF TIME IN COMPARE TO FAMILY. SO IF GUIDANCE ABOUT LIFE PROVIDED IN THE SCHOOL WILL AFFECT MORE THAN THEIR OWN EXPERIENCE. FOR AN INSTANCE, I GOT SOME LESSIONS FROM MY SCHOOL TEACHER WHILE I WAS STUDYING IN THE 5TH GRADE. THAT TIM WE HAD SUBJECT CALLED GUJARATI. IN THAT, THERE WERE LOT OF STORIES WRITEN BY WRITERS AND POEMS. AL USED TO GIVE SOME MESSAGES AT THE END OF EACH STORY. DUE TO SUCH SUBJECT I LEARNT HOW TO BE KIND TO OTHER HUMANS, GAIN RESPECT FOR MY ELDERS AND KO THE VALUE OF ENVIRONMENT ETC. IN MY OPINION, FOR ME SCHOOL SHOULD HAVE THESE ALL SUBJETFROM WHCIH THEY CAN BUILD THEIR GOOD FUTURE AS WELL AS MAKE THEIR LIFE MORE BEAUTIFUL. TO SUM UP, IT IS TRUE THAT MORE SUBJECT GIVES MORE STRESS ON THE CHILDREN BUT IF PLAN WISELY, LIKE WHICH SUBJECT IS IMPORTANT AS PER THE GRADE. THEN I AM SURE IT WILL BE MANAGABLE FPOR BOTH FOR MENTORS AND FOR LEARNERS.
IT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
SAID BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
THAT GEOGRAPHY SHOULD
BE MADE
Possible spelling mistake found.
COMPULSARY
DURING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
STUDIES. WHEREAS, OTHERS OPPOSE THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEA
BY SAYING THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN MORE REGARDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
Possible typo: you repeated a word
AS AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
. THIS ESSAY WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
STATHE
THE OPINION THAT
Possible spelling mistake found.
LEARNIG
Possible spelling mistake found.
GEOGRQAPHY
AND ABOUT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
BOTH SHOULD BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
AN EQUAL PRIORITY IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
FOR ALL THE PUPILS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THEIR BENEFITS.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH, THE PRIME REASON FOR TEACHING
Possible spelling mistake found.
GIPOGRAPHY
IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
IS THAT IT INCREASES THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
KNOWLEDGE
OF THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
COUNTRY'S GEOGRAPHY SUCH AS, WHERE IS IN
Did you mean "the"?
HE
WORLD'S MAP, HOW MUCH AREA IT IS COVERING AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ON. TO ELABORATE, IF IT OS TAUGHT IN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
THEN AFTER THE ADULTHOOD, WHEN ONE WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT IT HE CAN.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
HE
The verb 'KNOWING' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
IS ALREADY KNOWING
BASIC ABOUT IT. AND IF NOT THEN
Possible spelling mistake found.
ATLEST
HE WILL HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
GENERAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
KNOWLEDGE
. FOR AN EXAMPLE, AFTER
Possible spelling mistake found.
SCHOLLING
, OFFSPRING MIGHT HAVE INTEREST IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
KNOWNING
MORE ABOUT GEOGRAPHY, THEN PERSON CAN
EASILY
GO FOR
FURTHER
EDUCATION IN THAT FIELD WITHOUT CARING ANY FEAR. IF NOT THEN THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
KNOWLEDGE
CAN BE HELPFUL IN GETTING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
JOBS SUCH AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
UPSC
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
GPSC
ETC. IN THAT EXAM THERE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO BE MORE QUESTIONS RELATED TO GENERAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
KNOWLEDGE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
INFORMATION FROM SCHOOLING EDUCATION MAY BE BENEFICIAL IN RESERVING AUTHORITY WORK.

ON
Did you mean "the"?
HE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
HAND, IT IS
ALSO
ESSENTIAL THAT JUVENILES ARE
Possible spelling mistake found.
GETING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
TEACHING ABOUT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
SUCH AS, HOW TO BE A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
MEMBER OF THE SOCIETY
AS WELL
AS CIVILIAN, WHAT IS OUR
Possible spelling mistake found.
RESPONSIBILTY
AS HUMAN IN THE WORLD. TO ILLUSTRATE, AS CHILDHOOD IS STAGE OF JUVENILE IN WHICH THEY ARE
EASILY
Consider using a past participle here: "influenced".
INFLUENCE
BY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNNECCESSARY
THINGS. AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
IS A PLACE WHERE THEY ARE SPENDING THEIR
Consider using "MOST TIME" or "MOST of the TIME".
MOST OF TIME
IN COMPARE TO FAMILY.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
IF GUIDANCE ABOUT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
PROVIDED IN THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
WILL AFFECT MORE THAN THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
EXPERIENCE. FOR AN INSTANCE, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
Possible spelling mistake found.
LESSIONS
FROM MY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
TEACHER WHILE I WAS STUDYING IN THE 5TH GRADE. THAT TIM WE HAD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
CALLED GUJARATI. IN THAT, THERE WERE
It seems that an article is missing.
LOT OF
STORIES
Possible spelling mistake found.
WRITEN
BY WRITERS AND POEMS. AL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
TO GIVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
MESSAGES AT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
OF EACH STORY. DUE TO SUCH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
I
Possible spelling mistake. 'LEARNT' is British English.
LEARNT
HOW TO BE KIND TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
HUMANS, GAIN RESPECT FOR MY ELDERS AND KO THE VALUE OF ENVIRONMENT ETC.

IN MY OPINION, FOR ME
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCHOOL
SHOULD HAVE THESE ALL
Possible spelling mistake found.
SUBJETFROM
Possible spelling mistake found.
WHCIH
THEY CAN BUILD THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
FUTURE
AS WELL
AS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
MORE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEAUTIFUL
.

TO SUM UP, IT IS TRUE THAT MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
GIVES MORE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
ON THE CHILDREN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IF PLAN
WISELY
, LIKE WHICH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SUBJECT
IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
AS PER THE GRADE. THEN I AM SURE IT WILL BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MANAGABLE
Possible spelling mistake found.
FPOR
BOTH FOR MENTORS AND FOR LEARNERS.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all children should learn geography in school. However, some others think that it is more important to learn subjects that are more relevant to life. What is your opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
451 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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