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Some people think that advertising on TV is useless and others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that advertising on TV is useless and others disagree. v. 2
It is often debated by many that advertisement on TV is useless, while others have a belief that it has many pros. This essay will look at both sides of the notion before reaching a concrete solution. On the one hand, TV has been most effective media of advertisement in the recent years. Firstly, Television allows message to be conveyed in form of sight, sound and motion making ads most attractive, while other forms of advertisement allow only sight. This attraction force people to buy more and more products. Secondly, television reaches a much larger audience than other media. This helps in reaching the advertisement effectively to public with in a very short time. For example, a sudden rise in sales of local products in Pakistan is always observed after getting advertised on television. As this reasoning shows that it is worth to advertise on TV. On the other hand, a handsome amount is required to produce ads, where one has to hire script writer, editor and video maker. Similarly, broadcasting of ads for longer time also require money. Similarly, TV advertisement once made can never be changed, and new advertisements has to be produce in case special offers and promotions. This reasoning shows that it is not good to broadcast add on TV. To conclude with, with advancement in media and technology many ads are produced and advertised on TV. In my opinion, having very few cons like investment of money and on special occasions one can' t change the ad, it is worth to get advertisement TV because of a large number of audience, and it has attractive nature as well.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on TV is useless, while others have a belief that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros. This essay will look at both sides of the notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a concrete solution.

On the one hand, TV has been
Did you mean "the most"?
most
effective media of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in the recent years.
Firstly
, Television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
message to
be conveyed
in form of sight, sound and motion making ads most attractive, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sight. This attraction force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more and more products.
Secondly
, television reaches a much larger audience than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
media. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in reaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
effectively
to public with in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short time.
For example
, a sudden rise in sales of local products in Pakistan is always observed after getting advertised on television.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
this reasoning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it is worth to advertise on TV.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a handsome amount
is required
to produce ads, where one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hire
This word is normally spelled as one.
script writer
, editor and video maker.
Similarly
, broadcasting of ads for longer time
also
require money.
Similarly
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
once made can never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be produce in case special offers and promotions. This reasoning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to broadcast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on TV.

To conclude
with, with advancement in media and technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ads
are produced
and advertised on TV. In my opinion, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few cons like investment of money and on special occasions one
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the ad, it is worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
audience, and it has attractive nature
as well
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that advertising on TV is useless and others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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