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Many people nowadays travel aboard for their university education. Why do people do this and will you consider doing this yourself? v.1

Many people nowadays travel aboard for their university education. Why do people do this and will you consider doing this yourself? v. 1
Many individuals these days travel to foreign countries for education purposes. People do this because they need a good education degree for future needs, as well as, for living in that particular country. In my opinion, I believe it is absolutely fine studying aboard rather than, in my country. Currently, many adolescents prefer studying aboard because they get to meet different people, build up their confidence, and to exchange different culture, however, English is a very common language in the globe and many are wishing to make their English acceptable enough to have a good conversation with other people. For instance, today, Arab students are hoping to learn English and are willing to be perfect like other children, due to that reason, many people prefer to visit foreign countries to know more about other cultures and languages and to visit historical places as well. The other beneficial reason is that many people travel aboard to have a suitable part time jobs that are good enough to cover up their school fees or other expenses. To sum up, I would consider studying aboard because it will shape up my life in many ways. It' s a great way to build my confidences and capable of handling any situation and have a vast verity of subjects and universities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals these days travel to foreign countries for education purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education degree for future needs,
as well
as, for living in that particular country.

In my opinion, I believe it is
absolutely
fine studying aboard
rather
than, in my country.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents prefer studying aboard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, build up their confidence, and to exchange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture,
however
, English is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common language in the globe and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
The verb 'wishing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are wishing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their English acceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conversation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, Arab students are hoping to learn English and are willing to be perfect like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
children, due to that reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to visit foreign countries to know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures and languages and to visit historical places
as well
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
beneficial reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel aboard to have a suitable
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cover up their school fees or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
expenses.

To sum up, I would consider studying aboard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will shape up my life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s a great way to build my confidences and capable of handling any situation and have a vast verity of subjects and universities.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Many people nowadays travel aboard for their university education. Why do people do this and will you consider doing this yourself? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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