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Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience. v.2

Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. v. 2
In today's world, everyone is so much pre-occupied with work, they hardly get any leisure time. An ongoing debate highlights a similar discussion, where some people believe that it is better to plan your free time in advance as it saves time and money, while others oppose it, as it is mainly for relaxation and should not be made as tasks. The most significant advantage of planning early is it helps in saving time and money. Nowadays, people take out time for vacation's. Therefore, if they don't plan it early, they might end up paying twice the actual price. Also, it helps with choosing a better place for a vacation. To illustrate this, in the USA, people plan their vacation at least 6 months in advance, as they are aware, last minute they will not find a place to live and end up paying a lot more, especially on long weekends. A negative of planning early is, change in plan. Some time due to health or weather we are unable to travel to respective place and end up being at home and whole planning has no outcome, which is rare, but still advised to book refundable hotel. On the other hand, unplanned trips are usually short, as some amount of time is already spent on exploring options. People do these trips mostly on weekends, to rejuvenate them something or just wanted a long drive to visit their friends or nearby relative. Unplanned trips do bring excitement as it boosts adrenaline rush. For example, the University of Chicago did research on people who love sudden planned verses planned travels and found out that sudden plans are more cost effective. It is because, they are short. An adverse effect of unplanned travel is the fatigue as we spend a lot on driving and being active and unable to relax. In conclusion, whatever trip we take, whether planned or unplanned, both trips have their positives and negative, although, planning is more relaxing and cost effective. Unplanned trips are short and exciting. Irrespective of the fatigue, both the travels are worth the enjoyment.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-occupied
with work, they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. An ongoing debate highlights a similar discussion, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is better to
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plan
your free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in advance as it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money, while others oppose it, as it is
mainly
for relaxation and should not
be made
as tasks.

The most significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
early is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for vacation's.
Therefore
, if they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
it early, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up paying twice the actual price.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with choosing a better place for a vacation. To illustrate this, in the USA,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
their vacation at least 6 months in advance, as they are aware, last minute they will not find a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up paying a lot more,
especially
on long weekends. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
early is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to health or weather we are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to respective place and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being at home and whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
has no outcome, which is rare,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
advised to book refundable hotel.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are
usually
short, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is already spent on exploring options.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
mostly
on weekends, to rejuvenate them something or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted a long drive to visit their friends or nearby relative.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
do bring excitement as it boosts adrenaline rush.
For example
, the University of Chicago did research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
sudden planned verses planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
and found out that sudden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
are more cost effective. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are short. An adverse effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is the fatigue as we spend a lot on driving and being active and unable to relax.

In conclusion
, whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
we take, whether planned or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unplanned
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
have their positives and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is more relaxing and cost effective.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are short and exciting. Irrespective of the fatigue, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
are worth the enjoyment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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