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Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience. v.1

Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. v. 1
Some people like to plan activities, even for free time, whereas some others has opposing idea. In my opinion, free time should not plan and it is better people feel free and relax during leisure time and do whatever they want. This essay will argue two opposing ideas, plus my experience. On the one hand, planning help people to manage their time and money, even during leisure time. Some people feel absurdity without a plan. In some way, have a schedule give them the sense of victory and help them to prevent wasting time and enjoy each minute of their life. For instance, planning on a short trip during spare time has many advantages for people who are traveling such as, managing time and money, knowing the timetable of public vehicles, and the location of places you want to visit. So, although, a schedule can facilitate the life, but sometimes it can be boring. On the other hand, have a free day without a plan with emancipation has a positive effect on our spirit. As we work like a robot all the day, the stress and pressure of life and work effect on our health. However, having an unplanned day induce the sense of freedom to us. According to psychologies, the sense of freedom can recover and refresh our body and mind. For example, playing music, camping in the nature and spending time with friends make positive feel. So, it is true that apparently a day without a plan is like losing time, but mentally relaxation and unleash sense cannot replace with any plan. To sum up, I totally believe that leisure time without a plan not only does not caused emptiness feeling, it also makes a sense of calm. Have a day without control and with the best will in the world has work like a medicine for the spirit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
activities, even for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others has opposing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
and it is better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and relax during leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and do whatever they want. This essay will argue two opposing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, plus my experience.

On the one hand, planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money, even during leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel absurdity without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way, have a schedule give them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of victory and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and enjoy each minute of their life.
For instance
, planning on a short trip during spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are traveling such as, managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money, knowing the timetable of public vehicles, and the location of places you want to visit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, although, a schedule can facilitate the life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be boring.

On the other hand
, have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
day without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
with emancipation has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our spirit. As we work like a robot all the day, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure of life and work effect on our health.
However
, having an unplanned day induce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of freedom to us. According to psychologies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of freedom can recover and refresh our body and mind.
For example
, playing music, camping in the nature and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feel.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is true that
apparently
a day without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
is like losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mentally relaxation and unleash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
cannot replace with any plan.

To sum up, I
totally
believe that leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "cause"
caused
emptiness feeling, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of calm. Have a day without control and with the best will in the world has work like a medicine for the spirit.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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