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Some people think that activities of free-time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience. v.2

Some people think that activities of free-time should be planned while others disagree. v. 2
Effective spending of a day off, weekend or holidays has always been a burning issue in modern society. While some people, as well as me, believe that leisure activities should be planned in advance, others disagree with this claim. There are valid arguments from both sides which will be discussed in this essay. On the one hand, detailed planning for future activities may be significantly money-saving. For instance, according to my personal experience, the purchase of tickets for planes or trains will be not so much expensive in the case of 6 months before a trip. Whereas, in hot periods, such as summer or Christmas holidays, the cost of tickets may reach a high level and be not affordable for possible tourists. Further, having a complex strategy of rest days, such as an explicit route, seems to be significantly time-saving as well. For example, gathering information about the schedule of local public transport in a destination area may allow avoiding any delay on the way. Finally, due to an excellent plan, causes of the emergency situations may be mitigated or even prevent. For example, going to someplace for holidays, people may gather extra information about emergency services in that area. On the other hand, some people may mention the special term, hot tickets, which may be bought in a very short period before holidays and be even chipper than taking tickets in advance. However, this way has many disadvantages, due to the limitation of numbers of such tickets and places to visit. Further, some people tend to clam, that free-time activities without any arrange, when somebody cannot imagine a place which he or she visits tomorrow, maybe intriguing and thrilling and, as a result, contribute to the effectiveness of relaxing. All an all, despite the view that it seems to be mot necessary to plain free time, I would feel that organizing free-time events in advance would be more rational than spontaneous decisions.
Effective spending of a day off, weekend or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
has always been a burning issue in modern society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as well
as me, believe that leisure activities should
be planned
in advance, others disagree with this claim. There are valid arguments from both sides which will
be discussed
in this essay.

On the one hand, detailed planning for future activities may be
significantly
money-saving.
For instance
, according to my personal experience, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
or trains will be not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much expensive in the case of 6 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a trip. Whereas, in hot periods, such as summer or Christmas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
may reach a high level and be not affordable for possible tourists.
Further
, having a complex strategy of rest days, such as an explicit route, seems to be
significantly
time-saving
as well
.
For example
, gathering information about the schedule of local public transport in a destination area may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
avoiding any delay on the way.
Finally
, due to an excellent plan, causes of the emergency situations may
be mitigated
or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
.
For example
, going to someplace for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may gather extra information about emergency services in that area.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may mention the special term, hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
, which may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
and be even chipper than taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
in advance.
However
, this way has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages, due to the limitation of numbers of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
and places to visit.
Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to clam, that free-time activities without any arrange, when somebody cannot imagine a place which he or she visits tomorrow, maybe intriguing and thrilling and,
as a result
, contribute to the effectiveness of relaxing.

All an all, despite the view that it seems to be mot necessary to plain free time, I would feel that organizing free-time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in advance would be more rational than spontaneous decisions.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that activities of free-time should be planned while others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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