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One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you think governments should adopt to address the causes and effects of this problem

One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you believe governments should adopt to address the causes and effects of this problem? v. 2
The growth of human population has been one of the most important problems many countries are facing today. This essay will explain the causes that contributes to this problem including poor family planning and lack of knowledge on the importance of birth controls, as well as its effects on our modern society. This essay will also discuss the policies the government must do to address this issue. Overpopulation can be seen in many parts of the world, particularly in developing countries like India and the Philippines. One of the main cause of overpopulation is the poor family planning in impoverished areas, particulary in rural parts of the world. This has results to the increased birth rates among many families because of their lack of knowledge in family planning. For instance, it is normal for rural families in the Philippines to have 3 or more kids because parents are not educated when it comes to family planning. Another cause is the unawareness on the importance of birth control which has resulted to the rise of teen pregnancies. Studies have shown that 6 out of 10 teenagers between 13-18yrs old are now sexually active. These teenagers are oblivous on the importance of birth controls and it can prevent them, not only from getting pregnant, but also from getting sexually transmitted disease. Teen pregnancies have been evident in reality shows that are being shown such as Teen Moms in MTV channel. Governments around the world should create policies that are thoroughly effective to minimize the growth of our population like proper dissemination of information regarding family planning should be implemented in every communities, both for urban and rural areas. Also, governments should work with local communities to provide easy access for birth controls. And lastly, Better sex education must also be taught in schools through proper guidance on the importance of birth controls. It is evident that humans are taking over the world for the past centuries due to lack of better knowledge in family planning and sex education. This essay did not only tackle the causes and effects of overpopulation, but as well as the strategies and guidelines the government must take to resolve this issue.
The growth of human population has been one of the most
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important
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are facing
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today
. This essay will
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explain
the
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causes
that contributes to this problem including poor
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family
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planning
and lack of knowledge on the
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importance
of
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birth
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controls
,
as well
as its effects on our modern society. This essay will
also
discuss the policies the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do to address this issue.

Overpopulation can be
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seen
in
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many
parts of the
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world
,
particularly
in
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developing countries
like India and the Philippines. One of the main
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cause
of overpopulation is the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
in impoverished areas,
Possible spelling mistake found.
particulary
in rural parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This has results to the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
rates among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their lack of knowledge in
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family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
.
For instance
, it is normal for rural
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families
in the Philippines to have 3 or more kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents are not educated when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
. Another
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cause
is the unawareness on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
which has resulted to the rise of teen pregnancies. Studies have shown that 6 out of 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
between 13-18yrs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
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now
sexually
active. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
oblivous
on the
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importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controls
and it can
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prevent
them, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from getting pregnant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
from getting
sexually
transmitted disease. Teen pregnancies have been evident in reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that are
being shown
such as Teen Moms in MTV channel.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
should create policies that are
thoroughly
effective to minimize the growth of our population like proper dissemination of information regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
should
be implemented
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "community"?
communities
, both for urban and rural areas.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should work with local communities to provide easy access for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controls
. And
lastly
, Better sex education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be taught
in schools through proper guidance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
importance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
controls.

It is evident that humans are taking over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for the past centuries due to lack of better knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
and sex education. This essay did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and effects of overpopulation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as well
as the strategies and guidelines the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take to resolve this issue.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you think governments should adopt to address the causes and effects of this problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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