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some people think that a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. discuss both views and give own opinion. v.3

some people think that a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. v. 3
The said topic is a vexed issue as the majority of individuals consider salary as a key factor in the selection procedure of a career while others believe that the atmosphere of a particular job matters more than money. However, I opine that money is necessary to buy materialistic possessions but still it cannot buy eternal happiness. According to me, the atmosphere of a job matters the most. To commence with, money is the fundamental need of life and other basic necessities such as food, shelter, and clothes. All these needs can only be catered with the help of money. Therefore, money ensures a high quality of life. The wealth provides power to people and this power motivates the people to work harder until they reach the zenith of success as everyone have their desire to live their life in a luxury way. Finally, money act as a driving force such as some jobs provides bonuses and perks to the employees and further promotes people to burn the midnight oil in their career which leads to getting happiness and success. However, the atmosphere of a particular is utmost important for the well being of a worker. As, if one perform job tasks which are totally different from their skills and qualification, then it acts as a burden on them. As a result, many people become prone to stress-related diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, anxiety and so on. Consequently, it further causes a major disturbance in their life. Apart from this, the environment on a job should be congenial in nature as people should have the opportunity to show their talent, learn new things and perform their tasks freely rather than just getting high salary. Because these things make the job more interesting and entertaining which refreshes the mind of the employees. To cap it all, I opine that both factors, handsome salary, and good environment, are important for a job. However, the environment of the workplace is more significant and vital than money for a balanced life.
The said topic is a vexed issue as the majority of individuals consider salary as a key factor in the selection procedure of a career while others believe that the atmosphere of a particular
job
matters more than
money
.
However
, I opine that
money
is necessary to
buy
materialistic possessions
but
still
it cannot
buy
eternal happiness.
According to me
, the atmosphere of a
job
matters the most.

To commence with,
money
is the fundamental need of
life
and other
basic necessities
such as food, shelter, and clothes. All these needs can
only
be catered
with the
help
of
money
.
Therefore
,
money
ensures a high quality of
life
. The wealth provides power to
people
and this power motivates the
people
to work harder until they reach the zenith of success as everyone
have
their desire to
live
their
life
in a luxury way
.
Finally
,
money
act as a driving force such as
some
jobs
provides bonuses and perks to the employees and
further
promotes
people
to burn the midnight oil in their career which leads to getting happiness and success.

However
, the atmosphere of a particular is utmost
important
for the
well being
of a worker. As, if one perform
job
tasks which are
totally
different
from their
skills
and qualification, then it acts as a burden on them.
As a result
,
many
people
become prone to
stress
-related diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, anxiety and
so
on.
Consequently
, it
further
causes a major disturbance in their
life
. Apart from this, the environment on a
job
should be congenial in nature as
people
should have the opportunity to
show
their talent, learn new things and perform their tasks
freely
rather
than
just
getting high salary.
Because
these things
make
the
job
more interesting and entertaining which refreshes the mind of the employees.

To cap it all, I opine that both factors, handsome salary, and
good
environment, are
important
for a
job
.
However
, the environment of the workplace is more significant and vital than
money
for a balanced
life
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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