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Some people think that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. others may think there are alternatives for this problemdiscuss both vews and give ur opinion v.2

Some people think that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. others may think there are alternatives for this problem 2
It has been seen in many parts of the world the crime rate is elevating daily as a result many people are becoming victims of crime. This is because; the attackers are often illiterate or do not have parental guidance. A portion of people state that the best solution to shun this issue is to increase the prison span and others cite that there are other possible solutions for this problem. I stand with the experts who think that there are alternatives. On one hand, people think that if the sentence of the prison is increased it will be a good solution for the problem. As they will spend most of the time in jail on par with the crime they have done, they will be working under jurisdiction and learn to live a normal life after the period. It has been seen in many Indian jails that people who served longer sentences have changed and living a respectful after prison life. The main reason of this change is because, they fear that if they involve in any criminal activities, they will be behind bars again. Thus, people suggest that increasing the span of sentence will cut the crime. On the contrary, there are factions of experts who believe that there are many other alternatives can mitigate this trouble. For every problem there will be a simple solution, instead of opting for harder approach which make the offender permanently evil, they can be sent to some detention centers where he or she can avail the opportunity of learning about true values and morals, which is easy. Increase of sentence time will take valuable time the person; instead he can send to counseling centers where he can learn ethics. The root cause of this problem is unemployment and parental guidance. If the government provides adequate jobs and caretakers spend a quality time to teach their children about good and bad, they will not look for doing crime. Therefore, these are some of the alternative that can be substituted in the place of increasing span of sentence. Weighing up both sides of discussion, although increment of term in prison will shun the crime, it will not change the person attitude. The alternatives which were given above will definitely change the behavior and make him a responsible citizen. Hence, I opine that there are several other approaches apart from increasing term in jail to mitigate this plaguing issue.
It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is elevating daily
as a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming victims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
; the attackers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
illiterate or do not have parental guidance. A portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to shun this issue is to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
span
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
cite that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I stand with the experts who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are alternatives.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is increased
it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. As they will spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in jail on par with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
they have done, they will be working under jurisdiction and learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal life after the period. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian jails that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who served longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and living a respectful after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
life. The main reason of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they fear that if they involve in any criminal activities, they will be behind bars again.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that increasing the span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the crime.

On the contrary
, there are factions of experts who believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives can mitigate this trouble. For every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
there will be a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
,
instead
of opting for harder approach which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the offender
permanently
evil, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detention centers where he or she can avail the opportunity of learning about true values and morals, which is easy. Increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will take valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the person;
instead
he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to counseling centers where he can learn ethics. The root cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is unemployment and parental guidance. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides adequate jobs and caretakers spend a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to teach their children about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, they will not look for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Therefore
, these are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
alternative that can
be substituted
in the place of increasing span of sentence.

Weighing up both sides of discussion, although increment of term in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
will shun the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the person attitude. The alternatives which were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the behavior and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a responsible citizen.
Hence
, I opine that there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
approaches apart from increasing term in jail to mitigate this plaguing issue.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a good way to reduce crime is longer sentences. others may think there are alternatives for this problem 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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