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Question- Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

Question- Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. v. 2
Although it is sometimes thought that by watching television children can gain fruitful knowledge, thus, there is a belief that watching television at school and home ought to be made regular. In my opinion, children should not be allowed to on a daily basis, instead, they should generate reading habits to gain knowledge. A good reason to restrict children from not watching television everyday is that it diverges their concentration from studies. Adolescents get gravitated to any t. v programmes very easily which would eat up their study time and would not let them focus on their school work. This would not let them Excel in their academics as they would not be able to apply themselves completely. Another point to consider is that, if children are not allowed to watch t. v then parents can easily inculcate the practice if reading books in them. This would help them learn alot about the world and current affairs, which will boost their general knowledge to a great extent. Teenagers with reading habits usually have good vocabulary which help them to do well in competitive exams when they become adults. Finally, not having the habit of watching television everyday give the kids a lot of time to spend with their family and friends. For example, children who spend a lot of time with their parents or siblings develops a good bond which they carry with them life long. Instead of spending time in front of the television if a child plays with his friends that would teach him team work. This would be helpful for a child when he steps in the outside world as a grown up. In conclusion, watching television regularly should he strictly prohibited as there are different other ways to do effective learning in order to gain knowledge. Words- 280
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can gain fruitful knowledge,
thus
, there is a belief that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
at school and home ought to
be made
regular. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to on a daily basis,
instead
, they should generate reading habits to gain knowledge.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from not watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
is that it diverges their concentration from studies. Adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
gravitated to any t. v
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
which would eat up their study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them focus on their school work. This would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them Excel in their academics as they would not be able to apply themselves completely.

Another point to consider is that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
t. v then parents can
easily
inculcate the practice if reading books in them. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
about the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs, which will boost their general knowledge to a great extent.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
with reading habits
usually
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
vocabulary which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to do well in competitive exams when they become adults.

Finally
, not having the habit of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
everyday give the kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their family and friends.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their parents or siblings develops a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bond which they carry with them life long.
Instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
if a child plays with his friends that would teach him team work. This would be helpful for a child when he steps in the outside world as a grown up.

In conclusion
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
regularly
should he
strictly
prohibited as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
other ways to do effective learning in order to gain knowledge.

Words- 280
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Question- Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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