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Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. v. 3
According to some people the decreasing of the number of crimes is a matter of higher prison sentences. However, others think that different strategies should be utilised. In my opinion, prisons only hide the problems of the society and I agree that has developed a crime reduction plan that are based in more prevention than punishment. Nowadays, the majority of criminals accept their reality as a profession, and passing time in a prison is an extension of their curriculum vitae for the criminal organisations. For example, in Colombia the 90 % of the prisons is full of recaptured criminals, and the 40 % had been caged a minimum of three times. Moreover, the law knowledge of those people transforms the justice system into their advantage. In contrast, countries like Japan or Denmark, that develop their justice system with the objective of built a greater society rather than a punishment had excellent results. For instance, if one person steals property, it should stay 1500 hours helping in an orphanage with foreing children that lost everything. Also, if someone is founded doing vandalism, it had to clean every public bathroom in the city, that policy reduced the crime in 70 % between 1950 to 2010. It is important to be clear that for dangerous criminals, as murderers, it exists prisons. In conclusion, the prisons had been transformed into a criminal positive pass, that is the reason why the changing mind activities over the punishment, are the solution to reduce crimes. It is recommended that, the justice collects innovative ideas, so the criminals think twice before a crime.
According to
some
people
the decreasing of the number of
crimes
is a matter of higher
prison
sentences.
However
, others
think
that
different
strategies should be
utilised
. In my opinion,
prisons
only
hide
the problems of the society and I
agree
that has developed a
crime
reduction plan that
are based
in more prevention than punishment.

Nowadays, the majority of
criminals
accept their reality as a profession, and passing time in a
prison
is an extension of their curriculum vitae for the
criminal
organisations
.
For example
, in Colombia the 90 % of the
prisons
is full of recaptured
criminals
, and the 40 % had
been caged
a minimum of three times.
Moreover
, the law knowledge of those
people
transforms the justice system into their advantage.

In contrast
, countries like Japan or Denmark, that develop their justice system with the objective of built a greater society
rather
than a punishment had excellent results.
For instance
, if one person steals property, it should stay 1500 hours helping in an orphanage with
foreing
children that lost everything.
Also
, if someone
is founded
doing vandalism, it had to clean every public bathroom in the city, that policy
reduced
the
crime
in 70 %
between 1950 to 2010
. It is
important
to be
clear
that for
dangerous
criminals
, as murderers, it exists prisons.

In conclusion
, the
prisons
had
been transformed
into a
criminal
positive
pass,
that is
the reason why the changing mind activities over the punishment, are the solution to
reduce
crimes
. It
is recommended
that, the justice collects innovative
ideas
,
so
the
criminals
think
twice
before
a
crime
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that giving longer prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime. Others believe that there are better ways to reduce crime. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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