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Today younger and older generations are in the same work-space. is this more advantage or disadvantage. v.2

Today younger and older generations are in the same work-space. is this more advantage or disadvantage. v. 2
In modern industries companies are recruiting both entry-level and matured level people and making a compound team as a result, both fresher’s and experience persons are working at same place. This approach has some pros and cons which will be discussed. There are several advantages of combining two extreme levels experience people. First of all millennial have a lot of energy, that they can stretch their timings and work with elders. Secondly an experience mind and leadership can lead a young team towards success. As they have a huge industry experience any problems can be easily solved. Finally, people with conventional methods of working will have quality in their work and can build strong products with the help of energetic youngsters. This can be exemplified in increasing number of companies taking in high number of experience people who can lead and manage a young team with traditional approach like water fall model. These are the prominent benefits for a company if they have a composition of mixed experience people. On the other hand, even though, there are several cons of this happening, there are certain drawbacks such as; youngsters with talent are not able to climb the corporate ladder. Nowadays entry-level people are well expertise in some domain and have good hands on of practical approach of the industry standards. These people are often suppressed by experienced ones by showing a cause of age. Moreover, people who are elderly have some orthodox beliefs of doing the task in the method they know. Although this approach gives quality product, this will also block the use of latest technologies which give better quality with less time. This can be seen in a recent article in Times Now, that in many product based companies where the people who are more than 30 years of experience does not know the approach of scrum which can complete the product in less time with a better quality. Apart from this, companies need to pay high salaries to more experience which leads to blocker for adolescents, as companies are considering experience than experts. In conclusion, despite there are several advantages, the overall disadvantage of this view-point will outweigh.
In modern industries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are recruiting both entry-level and matured level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and making a compound team
as a result
, both fresher’s and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
persons are working at same place. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons which will
be discussed
.

There are several advantages of combining two extreme levels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
millennial have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
energy, that they can stretch their timings and work with elders.
Secondly
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
mind and leadership can lead a young team towards success.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they have a huge industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
any problems can be
easily
solved.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with conventional methods of working will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
in their work and can build strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of energetic youngsters. This can
be exemplified
in increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
taking in high number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can lead and manage a young team with traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
like water fall model. These are the prominent benefits for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
if they have a composition of mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
even though
, there are several cons of this happening, there are certain drawbacks such as; youngsters with talent are not able to climb the corporate ladder. Nowadays entry-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are well expertise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
domain and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hands on of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
of the industry standards. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suppressed by experienced ones by showing a cause of age.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are elderly have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
orthodox beliefs of doing the task in the method they know. Although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, this will
also
block the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies which give better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
with less time. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in a recent article in Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are more than 30 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
does not know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
of scrum which can complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in less time with a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need to pay high salaries to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which leads to blocker for adolescents, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
than experts.

In conclusion
, despite there are several advantages, the
overall
disadvantage of this view-point will outweigh.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today younger and older generations are in the same work-space. is this more advantage or disadvantage. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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