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(improved ) Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

(improved ) Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2
Economic progress is seen by many politicians as their main aim. At the same time, some aver that attention ought to be paid not only to economic progress but to other types of advancement as well in even proportions. Below both prospects will be discussed and author’s opinion will be given. On the one hand, maintenance and buttressing of economic progress often has the highest priority for many governments because strong and vigorous economy benefits a society in many ways. For instance, there are a plethora of jobs available, employees’ salaries are growing, revenue of businesses keeps increasing and overall standards of living are rocketing. Consequently, if economy is kept in a great shape, the voters will be contented and thus will vote for the elected officials who have brought them the prosperity. From this prospect government’s attitude to that economics is reasonable. On the other hand, it seems that progress should not be neglected. Although those other types of progress are less propelled by the mass media and they are not usually mentioned in speeches, such progress as technological one has been having a great impact on the humankind for many centuries. In fact, this advancement has shaped our cities, homes and even the way we live. For instance, all means of transportation and communication are fruits that have been brought to the mankind by technological progress. Moreover, there is scientific, moral and other types of it and they all play a considerable role in maintaining healthy functioning of a modern society. Thus, all types of progress seem to be evenly important. Finally, in my opinion, although there is indeed a wide range of progress that has effect on the way the humans live, I think that they aren’t equally important because economy underpins functioning of any country. Moreover, it is essential for other types of progress because if there is a sluggish economy, there will be no resources available to develop new technologies or moral codes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
politicians as their main aim. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aver that attention ought to
be paid
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of advancement
as well
in even proportions. Below both prospects will
be discussed
and author’s opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, maintenance and buttressing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
has the highest priority for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
strong and vigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
benefits a society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For instance
, there are a plethora of jobs available, employees’ salaries are growing, revenue of businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing and
overall
standards of living are rocketing.
Consequently
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in a great shape, the voters will
be contented
and
thus
will vote for the elected officials who have brought them the prosperity. From this prospect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s attitude to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
is reasonable.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should not
be neglected
. Although those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are less propelled by the mass
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
media and
they are not
usually
mentioned in speeches, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
as technological one has been having a great impact on the humankind for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries. In fact, this advancement has shaped our cities, homes and even the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
For instance
, all means of transportation and communication are fruits that have
been brought
to the mankind by technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
.
Moreover
, there is scientific, moral and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they all play a considerable role in maintaining healthy functioning of a modern society.
Thus
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
seem to be
evenly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Finally
, in my opinion, although there is
indeed
a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that has effect on the way the humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they aren’t
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
underpins functioning of any country.
Moreover
, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if there is a sluggish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, there will be no resources available to develop new technologies or moral codes.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay (improved ) Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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